In a move that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and glitter-bombed, Mayor Mildred McMillan of Harmony Creek, Ohio, has simultaneously banned all Pride events in the city while simultaneously releasing a synth-pop album titled, "Rainbow Revolution: A Mayor's Manifesto of Moist, Delicious Freedom." The album, featuring tracks like "Tax the Rich, Love the Queers" and "Sashay Away From Your Heteronormative Expectations," has rocketed to the top of the iTunes charts, beating out even Taylor Swift's latest re-recording (apparently, the mayor’s backup singers are *very* good).

McMillan, who identifies as a ‘gender-fluid, pansexual unicorn enthusiast’ (her words, not ours… although we're kinda vibing with it), claims the Pride ban is a necessary evil to "maximize the impact of pure, unadulterated joy" which, she explains, is better experienced through listening to her music. Critics are calling it a bold move, a masterclass in political maneuvering, or simply, ‘peak millennial chaos.’

"It's about disruption, darling!" Mayor McMillan proclaimed during a press conference held in a giant inflatable rainbow unicorn. "People are too busy protesting. They need to *dance*. They need to *groove*. And they certainly need to listen to my *killer* synth solos."

Local residents are torn. While some are ecstatic about the album – "It's so deliciously woke it gave me a spontaneous chakra alignment!" exclaimed one enthusiastic listener – others are less thrilled with the ban. "I wanted to wear my ‘Gay Agenda’ t-shirt to Pride," lamented one disgruntled resident, who promptly bought the Mayor's album and started learning the dance moves from the accompanying music video.

The entire situation has sparked a fierce debate on the nature of protest, the power of pop music, and whether or not the mayor’s signature sequined jumpsuit is a deliberate commentary on societal norms. One thing’s for sure: Harmony Creek is officially the weirdest, most fabulous place on Earth. And probably out of sequins.