In a move that's simultaneously baffling and breathtakingly tone-deaf, Brenda Buttercup, CEO of the struggling artisanal pickle company "Dill-icious Delights," has banned all gender-neutral bathrooms company-wide. This follows an internal memo citing concerns over 'potential cross-gender bathroom usage leading to decreased productivity due to awkward encounters.'

Instead of embracing inclusivity, Ms. Buttercup has commissioned a lavish, private restroom for her exclusive use. Described by an anonymous source as a 'gilded throne room for bowel movements,' the facility reportedly features 24-karat gold toilet paper, a heated marble seat, and a complimentary aromatherapy diffuser dispensing the scent of freshly-cut money.

'It's simply about efficiency,' Ms. Buttercup stated in a press release accompanied by a photo of her stepping out of a chauffeured limo, clutching a diamond-encrusted pickle. 'I can't afford to lose valuable time navigating the complexities of a gender-neutral environment. My bowel movements are simply too important to the bottom line.'

Employees, already struggling with the recent downsizing that involved replacing half the workforce with automated pickle-slicing robots, are reportedly less than thrilled with the new bathroom policy. One disgruntled employee, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of being replaced by a particularly efficient cucumber-slicer bot, commented, 'I guess prioritizing the CEO's colon over employee morale is the new Dill-icious strategy. It's certainly a spicy way to run a business.' The company has yet to comment on employee complaints, presumably because Ms. Buttercup is busy perfecting her post-pickle-purity facial regimen.