In a shocking twist that's got the PTA in a tizzy and Tucker Carlson frothing at the mouth, Mildred McMillan, a seemingly straight-laced 5th-grade teacher from Boise, Idaho, has been exposed as a double agent – a subversive warrior in the culture wars. Officially, McMillan blocked the implementation of a new, inclusive LGBTQ+ curriculum, citing concerns about 'age appropriateness' and the potential for children to 'accidentally become fabulous.' She reportedly referred to the curriculum as a 'rainbow-colored Trojan horse filled with glitter and gender-neutral pronouns.'

However, an anonymous tipster – who only identified themselves as 'Chadwick Butterscotch' – revealed a secret life of rainbow-hued subterfuge. McMillan, it turns out, is secretly the anonymous benefactor behind the school's newly formed 'Queer Riot' club. This club, described by members as a 'safe space for self-expression and the planning of glitter bomb attacks on those who disagree with us,' has already caused a stir by successfully convincing the school cafeteria to serve only gender-neutral foods (no more 'boy' and 'girl' shaped sandwiches). The club’s latest project is apparently a full-scale production of 'Rent' featuring only interpretive dance and interpretive drag, scheduled to coincide with the annual PTA bake sale.

"It's a brilliant double bluff," commented Dr. Patricia Pronoun, a leading expert in gender studies and glitter-bomb deployment tactics. "By publicly opposing the curriculum, McMillan cleverly deflects suspicion while covertly funding a revolutionary force for change. It's like a real-life 'Queer as Folk' episode, only with more subversive baking."

McMillan, reached for comment, simply winked and offered a reporter a gender-neutral, vegan cupcake. It was, according to eyewitness accounts, suspiciously delicious. Investigations are ongoing, but experts predict a significant increase in the number of gender-neutral cupcakes at future school events. The PTA, meanwhile, is planning a counter-offensive: a bake sale with exclusively vanilla cupcakes – because they believe vanilla is the only thing that truly speaks to children's souls and absolutely NOT a 'dangerous' code word for patriarchy.

The school board, meanwhile, is reportedly considering a new policy: mandatory cupcake tastings for all teachers before curriculum approvals. The era of covert cupcake operations appears to be coming to a close, but the fight for gender-neutral desserts and fabulousness continues.