In a move that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative fitness community (and possibly also through the delicate ecosystem of CrossFit gyms nationwide), Olympic weightlifter Chad Thundercock (yes, *that* Chad Thundercock) has announced his refusal to participate in this year's Pride Games, citing concerns that the rainbow branding 'isn't edgy enough'. Instead, he's launching his own fitness line: 'GAYgains'.
Thundercock, known for his grunting prowess and suspiciously symmetrical biceps, stated in a press release (written in Comic Sans, naturally), that the traditional Pride branding was 'too corporate, too mainstream, and frankly, a bit pastel for his taste'. He feels that the current LGBTQ+ fitness market lacks the necessary… *testosterone*. 'GAYgains,' he explained, will be a 'fiercely inclusive' line of workout gear that celebrates the 'raw, untamed power of queer masculinity' – a concept so revolutionary, it might just cause a tectonic shift in the gender binary. Expect lots of leopard print, strategically placed sparkles, and motivational posters featuring Chad Thundercock in a variety of surprisingly revealing outfits.
The line, rumored to include a range of products from 'Pride-and-Prejudice-Fighting Protein Shakes' to 'Butch Barbie' resistance bands, has already faced backlash from certain quarters. One particularly irate commenter on Chad's Instagram post (which depicted him flexing while wearing nothing but a strategically placed rainbow sequined jockstrap) wrote: 'This is an outrage! This is… this is... *fabulous*!' Others have pointed out that the whole enterprise seems less about inclusivity and more about capitalizing on the current queer fitness craze, with one critic labeling it ‘pink capitalism’s latest money-making scheme’.
Whatever the motivation, one thing's for sure: Chad Thundercock has proven that you can be shockingly homophobic while simultaneously embracing, celebrating and profiting handsomely from the LGBTQ+ community. The irony, as they say, is thicker than a kale smoothie.
