In a move that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and breathless, mega-corporation 'MegaCorp' CEO, Chad Thundercock, has announced a groundbreaking new policy: a complete ban on all company-sponsored LGBTQ+ diversity programs, *immediately* followed by the implementation of a mandatory gender-fluid dress code.

"Look," Chad explained in a press conference featuring a suspiciously flamboyant floral shirt, "those rainbow flags and sensitivity training sessions? A bit much. Frankly, they were making me feel… *uncomfortable*. But we're committed to inclusivity! Henceforth, every Tuesday will be 'Gender Bender Tuesday', where employees are encouraged to swap wardrobes with their colleagues, irrespective of gender or personal hygiene preferences. Think 'Trading Places,' but with more glitter and less Eddie Murphy."

Critics have accused Chad of a stunning lack of self-awareness, pointing out the inherent contradiction of simultaneously prohibiting inclusivity training and enforcing an arguably even *more* intrusive form of forced inclusivity. One activist, identified only as 'Kiki Kandi-Crusher,' stated, "This is like banning books while forcing everyone to memorize 'The Communist Manifesto'—it’s performative allyship at its most absurd!"

However, the new policy has garnered unexpected support from certain unexpected corners. The Westboro Baptist Church is reportedly considering a 'cease and desist' order against Chad for 'appropriating their brand of discomfort.' And shares in MegaCorp are apparently soaring, with investors speculating that the sheer chaotic energy of the situation might actually boost the company's image.

Meanwhile, human resources are scrambling to locate enough sequined jumpsuits and feather boas to outfit the entire workforce. Sources say that they're already running low on glitter, possibly indicating a broader societal shift towards a more… sparkly future. Only time will tell if this 'inclusivity through chaos' experiment will succeed. One thing's for sure: it’s certainly… *interesting*.