In a stunning twist that has left the right wing reeling (and possibly questioning their commitment to the Oxford comma), controversial conservative radio host, Bartholomew “Bart” Bigglesworth, has legally changed his name to ‘They/Themself McMuffin’ and announced he identifies as a ‘Gender-Fluid Gluten-Free Griddlecake.’ The announcement, made on his show, ‘Bigglesworth’s Bigoted Breakfast,’ (which will now reportedly be renamed ‘McMuffin’s Morning Mayhem’), was met with a chorus of confused sputtering from his usually rabid fanbase.
Bigglesworth, or, as he now insists, McMuffin, had previously mocked the use of pronouns on air, referring to them as 'woke nonsense' and 'liberal lunacy.' This dramatic shift, therefore, comes as a rather large croissant-shaped surprise. Sources say the change was triggered by an intense weekend spent watching 'RuPaul's Drag Race' with his estranged mother, who apparently gifted him a truly fabulous sequined jumpsuit.
'It was truly a transformative experience,' McMuffin stated in a press release riddled with deliberately awkward pronoun usage. 'I finally realized that my previous rigid adherence to gender norms was nothing but a biscuit in my path towards true self-actualization. And let's be honest, 'They/Themself McMuffin' has a certain je ne sais quoi that 'Bart Bigglesworth' just couldn't match.'
The change has already sparked heated debate across social media. Conservative pundits are struggling to reconcile their previously held beliefs with McMuffin's newfound embrace of gender fluidity. One commentator, clearly flustered, was overheard muttering, ‘I… I don’t understand. Is he… is he… making fun of us?’ The answer, my friends, remains delightfully ambiguous.
Meanwhile, McMuffin’s lawyer, a flamboyant individual named Reginald Flufferbottom III, Esq., has stated that this is a ‘powerful statement on the fluidity of identity and the absurdity of rigid societal expectations.’ He then promptly added, 'Also, I’m taking applications for McMuffin's new reality show – 'From Bigot to Big Brunch' – so send your submissions to my preferred email: [email protected].'
