In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of confusion through the quilting circles of Des Moines, Iowa, Instagram influencer Chad Chadwellson has publicly declared his support for LGBTQ+ rights and criticized traditional gender norms. Chadwellson, known for his meticulously curated avocado toast photos and surprisingly insightful commentary on the latest episode of *The Great British Baking Show*, has ignited a firestorm of controversy by suggesting that maybe, just maybe, boys *can* wear pink and girls *can* play with trucks.

The backlash has been swift and, frankly, predictable. One commenter, identifying only as 'KarenFromAccounting69', wrote, "This is why our kids are turning into…*whispers*… *communists*. Back in my day, we knew what a gender was! And it involved a lot of ironing and a distinct lack of pronouns." Another, seemingly triggered by the mere mention of non-binary identities, posted a picture of a rotary phone with the caption, 'Bring back simpler times! When gender roles were as rigid as this phone cord!'

Chadwellson, unfazed by the torrent of anger, posted a picture of himself in a flamboyant pink tutu, cradling a toy dump truck, and captioned it, "This is my 'I'm so triggered, I'm having a gender identity crisis!' face. It involves lots of glitter and a surprisingly satisfying amount of dump truck action. Stay woke, babies!" He also released a limited-edition line of "Woke AF" avocado toast-scented candles, proceeds of which will be donated to a charity providing therapy for individuals struggling with the unexpected joy of self-expression.

Experts are predicting that this controversy could potentially lead to… well, absolutely nothing. Chad will probably sell even more avocado toast-scented candles, and KarenFromAccounting69 will continue to fight the good fight against… avocados, presumably. This is a developing story, and we will update you as soon as someone suggests banning glitter.