In a twist more dramatic than a RuPaul's Drag Race lip-sync for your life, Reverend Reginald Righteous, known for his fire-and-brimstone sermons declaring LGBTQ+ folks 'an abomination unto the Lord,' has been exposed as a closet…well, you know. Photos leaked to the internet show the holy man exchanging vows with two beaming grooms – Chad and Brad (no relation, apparently, though they do share a fondness for Crocs and surprisingly good interpretive dance). The ceremony, reportedly officiated by an Elvis impersonator (who, ironically, sang 'Can't Help Falling in Love' with gusto), took place in a Vegas chapel also home to a surprisingly chill llama named Kevin.

Sources suggest the reverend's 'Damnation to the Gays' sermon series was actually a thinly veiled cry for help, a desperate attempt to repress his burgeoning love for sparkly suits and Chad's impressive collection of artisanal cheeses. 'He was a real closet case,' one anonymous source whispered, requesting to remain anonymous because they 'have a lifetime supply of his 'fire and brimstone' hot sauce and don't want to jeopardize the deal'.

The fallout has been...interesting. The religious right is reeling, comparing this to the time that Kanye went full Kanye. Meanwhile, the LGBTQ+ community is buzzing. 'Look, even the homophobes are secretly down with the gays!' exclaimed Brenda, a local drag queen known for her impeccable Kylie Jenner impersonations and her unwavering belief in the power of glitter. 'It's like a gay redemption arc, but instead of becoming a better person, he just got married to a couple of dudes and a llama. The ultimate queer win!'

Reverend Righteous has yet to release an official statement, though a blurry Instagram story shows him in a cowboy hat, riding a llama through the Nevada desert, wearing what appears to be a pair of rainbow-sequined chaps. This entire situation has left everyone wondering: Is it a sin to wear sequined chaps while riding a llama? And more importantly, where can we get a pair?