In a stunning turn of events that has left the evangelical community simultaneously sputtering and reaching for their glitter glue, Pastor Mike Pence, renowned for his fiery sermons against the ‘sin of rainbow-colored sprinkles,’ has not only officiated a same-sex wedding but apparently insisted on officiating it *in a full-on Beyoncé-themed extravaganza*.

Sources say the ceremony, held in a repurposed bowling alley (naturally), featured a choreographed dance routine to 'Single Ladies', a custom-made wedding cake shaped like a giant unicorn riding a rainbow, and a vows exchange conducted entirely through interpretive dance. One attendee, identified only as 'Chad Thundercock,' described it as “the most fabulous and terrifying experience of his life.”

Pastor Pence, previously seen as the poster child for the 'traditional marriage' crowd (one with a distinctly monochrome color palette, let’s be honest), explained his dramatic shift in perspective in a post-ceremony press conference: "Let's just say, the Holy Spirit works in mysterious... and very sparkly ways. And those two brides? They brought *cake*. Delicious cake."

The sudden, dramatic change has sparked widespread confusion and accusations of 'woke agenda infiltration' from some corners of the conservative sphere. One particularly irate commentator on Fox News, who suspiciously resembled a slightly melted Ken doll, fumed, "This is the end of civilization as we know it! Where will it end? Will they start accepting… *dogs* in churches next?"

Meanwhile, the newly married couple, identified as 'Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Jr.' and 'Ryan Reynolds, Esquire,' were unavailable for comment, presumably busy enjoying their post-wedding couples' massage and discussing the finer points of gender-neutral pronouns (and the superior merits of tequila). The entire ordeal has sparked a heated debate about the fluidity of faith, the undeniable power of glitter, and the question of whether Beyoncé actually *is* the Supreme Being some of us secretly suspect.