In a stunning turn of events that has left the LGBTQ+ community simultaneously baffled and delighted, Cletus Bigglesworth, CEO of Bigglesworth's Beige Bagels, accidentally sponsored this year's Pride parade. Bigglesworth, a man whose fashion sense is as vibrant as a beige wall, claims the sponsorship was a 'misunderstanding involving a rogue intern and an oddly phallic-shaped donation form.'

'I thought I was sponsoring a 'Beige Bagel Appreciation Day' parade,' Bigglesworth blustered at a hastily arranged press conference, his face a shade of beige only slightly darker than his signature suit. 'Turns out, Pride is *also* in June! Who knew?'

The internet, predictably, exploded. Memes comparing Bigglesworth to a confused potato quickly went viral, alongside a trending hashtag #BeigePride. Some found the situation hilarious, while others pointed out the ironic symbolism of a beige-obsessed CEO inadvertently funding a celebration of vibrant self-expression.

But Bigglesworth, clearly not one to back down from a challenge, has doubled down. In a move that has some experts questioning his sanity (and possibly his tax bracket), he's announced a rival parade – 'Straight Pride,' naturally – featuring exclusively beige clothing, a keynote speech by a taxidermied badger, and a surprisingly moving rendition of 'God Bless America' performed by a barbershop quartet all wearing beige toupees.

'We’re reclaiming beige!' Bigglesworth declared, his voice wavering slightly. 'It's the color of purity, of tradition, of...well, beige. And it's certainly not gay! Unless you count the possibility of a beige-colored unicorn, which I do not.'

While the LGBTQ+ community enjoys the unexpected windfall, questions linger. Is Bigglesworth’s blunder a genuine mistake, or a cunning PR move so bad it's brilliant? Or, is it simply a case of someone who needs to branch out from their limited color palette, both literally and figuratively? Only time, and hopefully a significant donation to a worthy LGBTQ+ charity, will tell.