In a stunning display of performative wokeness that's left the nation simultaneously bewildered and clutching its pearls, Senator Bartholomew 'Bart' Butterfield, notorious for his public mockery of gender-neutral pronouns, has legally changed his name to 'They/Themselves McMuffin'. Sources close to the Senator (who now identifies as a sentient, gender-fluid breakfast sandwich) claim this dramatic shift is a sincere apology for past 'micro-aggressions' against the LGBTQIA+ community.

"It was a real 'aha!' moment," confided a source, who wished to remain anonymous to avoid further triggering the Senator's newfound sensitivity. "Bart – or, I should say, They/Themselves – realized that mocking pronouns is, like, totally not woke. So they went full throttle, embracing the most aggressively gender-neutral name imaginable."

The move has been met with mixed reactions. While some hail it as a groundbreaking example of self-reflection and growth, others are convinced it’s a cynical publicity stunt engineered by a team of woke PR consultants fueled by oat milk lattes and unbridled ambition. Conservative commentator and noted pronoun purist, Chad Thundercock, described the Senator's name change as "a blatant assault on traditional values and the very fabric of society. It's frankly, an abomination...a McMuffin abomination!"

Meanwhile, They/Themselves McMuffin has begun using their newly adopted moniker in all official correspondence. They’ve also launched a new initiative promoting the use of gender-neutral pronouns, promising to "deconstruct cis-hetero-normative language one McMuffin at a time." The Senator’s office confirmed that all future press releases will be exclusively written in rhyming couplets, and will feature an abundance of glitter and rainbows. They/Themselves McMuffin was unavailable for comment, as they were reportedly busy crafting a sonnet about the joys of self-expression using only the words 'they,' 'them,' and 'McMuffin.'