In a stunning revelation that's got the heteronormative community clutching their pearls tighter than a Kardashian on a budget, renowned geneticist Professor Quentin Quibble has been exposed! The man who publicly dismissed the very notion of 'LGBTQ genes' – calling them 'a social construct, like skinny jeans and avocado toast' – has been secretly breeding rainbow-maned unicorns in his lab, apparently in a desperate attempt to understand... well, himself?

Sources say the good Professor, a man whose tie-dye collection rivals a Grateful Dead concert, has been whispering sweet nothings to his genetically modified steeds, all while sporting rainbow suspenders and a 'Love is Love' pin. One insider, who wishes to remain anonymous because, as they put it, ‘Quentin has a concerning collection of taxidermied squirrels,' reported seeing Quibble attempting to teach his unicorns to perform synchronized swimming to 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. 'It was... intense,' the source stated, ‘a real 'come to Jesus' moment about the fluidity of gender roles in the equine kingdom.'

Quibble's public statements have been… contradictory. While maintaining his stance on the non-existence of LGBTQ genes, he was overheard muttering about how 'the unicorn's vibrant plumage might be a metaphor for the unexpressed desires of the cisgender male,' before adding, in a hushed voice, 'And what if *I* am a unicorn?'

This bombshell revelation has sent shockwaves through the scientific community and beyond. While some are calling for Quibble's immediate expulsion from the Heteronormative Society (apparently a thing), others are celebrating this unexpected validation of the 'lived experiences' of rainbow unicorns. Whatever the outcome, one thing's for sure: Quibble's secret life has opened up a whole new can of worms, or perhaps, a whole herd of shimmering, gender-fluid unicorns, in the ongoing debate about sexuality and genetics. Stay tuned for further developments, including an exclusive interview with Quibble's lead unicorn, Sparklehoof, whose pronouns are apparently 'they/them/rainbow'.