In a stunning display of athletic prowess and… questionable life choices, renowned competitive eater and occasional hammer thrower, Chad Thundercock (whose real name is, surprisingly, Chad Thundercock), has taken a stand against the increasingly popular gender-neutral locker room. Instead of staging a peaceful protest, or, you know, *talking* to someone, Chad has opted for a more… visceral approach.

Sources confirm Chad has converted his mother's basement – previously used for storing questionable tax documents and a surprisingly large collection of Beanie Babies – into a state-of-the-art gender-neutral locker room. The facility boasts features including, but not limited to: one (1) slightly damp shower, a single, wobbly bench, and a surprisingly pungent aroma described by neighbors as a 'bouquet of teenage angst and unwashed gym socks.'

"Look, I'm not saying I'm against gender equality," Chad explained in an interview conducted entirely through aggressively aggressive interpretive dance, "but I just can't get my head around sharing a shower with… with… people. People of any gender. Showering is a private, sacred ritual, and it involves a lot of spitting. My spitting zone needs to be fiercely defended!"

Chad’s mother, Bernice Thundercock (who claims to be 'tired of the constant aroma of shame and desperation emanating from her basement'), reportedly considered calling the authorities until she realized she’d accidentally ordered 300 cases of protein powder online and needed Chad’s help to unpack it.

Experts are baffled by Chad's actions. "It’s certainly… unique," commented Dr. Penelope Witherspoon, leading sociologist and author of 'Understanding the Subcultural Practices of People Who Still Wear Starter Jackets.' "It's a bold statement, albeit one delivered primarily through the medium of strategically placed half-eaten protein bars and existential dread."