In a plot twist worthy of a Netflix limited series (with at *least* five seasons and a spin-off about the intern's dating life), notorious anti-trans activist, Chad Thundercock (yes, really), has launched a makeup line specifically targeted towards… trans women. The line, cheekily titled "Transitive Properties of Beauty," features shades like "TERF Tears" (a shimmering, iridescent pink), "Hormone Happy Hour" (a bold, sunset orange), and the ever-popular "Gender Euphoria" (a shimmering gold that apparently reflects the tears of your enemies – or, you know, just sunlight).

Thundercock, in a press release that read like a poorly written existential crisis, claims the line is designed to "help these poor, misguided souls blend in better." He added, between sips of what appeared to be Soylent Green, "It's about subtle assimilation, not flamboyant self-expression! Unless, of course, that self-expression involves perfectly sculpted eyebrows. Those are essential."

Naturally, the LGBTQ+ community is having a field day. While some are boycotting the line (duh), others have embraced it as the ultimate act of ironic reclamation. One activist, going by the handle @GlitterBombQueen69 on X (formerly Twitter), tweeted, "Honey, I'm buying the whole damn line and using it to create the most spectacularly gender non-conforming look possible. Consider this my declaration of shimmering, sparkly war!"

Meanwhile, makeup gurus on YouTube are already creating tutorials, using Thundercock's line to craft looks inspired by everything from RuPaul to the cast of 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.' The internet is ablaze with memes depicting Chad Thundercock weeping into a vat of "TERF Tears" foundation while a choir of trans women sings 'Born This Way' in the background. It’s truly a masterpiece of unintentional chaos.

So, is this a stroke of marketing genius, a bizarre act of self-sabotage, or simply the most unexpected LGBTQ+ ally of 2024? We’re not sure, but one thing is for certain: the drama is better than any reality TV show we’ve seen in years. And that's saying something.