In a stunning twist that has the internet in a tizzy (and possibly a full-blown gender reveal party), Hollywood heartthrob Kevin Costner, known for his rugged masculinity and roles in films where the only thing more dramatic than the plot is his hair, has publicly condemned drag queens. This condemnation, delivered with the emotional range of a particularly stoic oak tree, came just weeks before the highly anticipated premiere of his new reality show, 'Costner's Queens of Chaos!'

The show, a dazzling explosion of glitter, feathers, and questionable life choices, features Costner himself personally mentoring a gaggle of drag queens. These queens, described by producers as 'fiercely independent, unapologetically fabulous, and suspiciously well-versed in Costner's filmography,' are tasked with transforming everyday people into walking, talking works of art – or, as Costner put it in a press release, 'a glorious, sequined testament to the power of self-expression… that somehow also vaguely resembles me.'

Critics are calling it a 'masterclass in ironic hypocrisy,' a 'queer-coded subversion of traditional masculinity,' and, most hilariously, 'a financial gamble that could either make Costner a king or send him straight to the 'Dances with Wolves' sequel hell.' One prominent drag queen, who goes by the stage name 'Dances With Sequins,' commented, 'Kevin's a tough cookie, but honey, he's got the heart of a golden retriever in stilettos!'

Costner's campy metamorphosis is not only raising eyebrows but also the question: Is this a genuine shift in his perspective, a calculated publicity stunt, or simply the result of a rogue glitter bomb exploding in his mansion? The only thing clearer than the answer is that the ratings are going to be through the roof. Expect to see more than a few 'Waterworld'-themed runway looks.