In a plot twist more dramatic than a RuPaul's Drag Race finale, Mayor Mildred McMillan, known for her staunch opposition to gay adoption rights (she once described rainbows as 'a meteorological anomaly best ignored'), has unexpectedly become a foster parent to five exceptionally flamboyant children. The children, known collectively as 'The Fab Five,' arrived on McMillan's doorstep last Tuesday, a whirlwind of glitter, Beyoncé singalongs, and an uncanny ability to perfectly recreate every look from 'Bridgerton.'

Sources close to the situation (who, incidentally, all sport impeccably curated rainbow manicures) claim the children's arrival was a ‘divine intervention,’ orchestrated by a coven of drag queens and a particularly sassy unicorn named Sparklehoof. McMillan, initially speechless (a rare occurrence, according to City Council members), is now reportedly undergoing a rapid ideological transformation. Her previously ironclad anti-gay views seem to be melting faster than a glacier in a climate change documentary. Witnesses report seeing her wearing a 'Love is Love' t-shirt and attempting (and failing spectacularly) to learn the choreography to 'Vogue.'

The Fab Five, consisting of 10-year-old gender-fluid fashionista, Xavier, 8-year-old coding prodigy and aspiring drag queen, Willow, 6-year-old budding activist and champion of ethical veganism, Indigo, 4-year-old gender-creative artist extraordinaire, River, and 2-year-old non-binary breakdancing sensation, Zephyr, are unsurprisingly thrilled with their new living situation. 'She's learning,' Xavier declared in a press conference held in the mayor's office, which was unexpectedly transformed into a glitter-bomb explosion. 'And the closet? Oh honey, it's now a fabulous rainbow-hued storage unit for our costumes!'

Critics, however, remain steadfast in their disapproval, citing concerns that McMillan’s newfound 'woke-ness' is just a publicity stunt. One particularly disgruntled member of the ‘Citizens Against Fun’ group was overheard muttering, 'This is clearly the work of the devil...or maybe just some very powerful glitter glue.' But hey, at least somebody’s embracing the rainbow – even if it's a little late to the party.