In a stunning turn of events that has sent ripples of glitter across the scientific community, Dr. Chad Thundercock, previously known for his outspoken dismissal of LGBTQ+ research (calling it "a load of rainbow-colored hooey," in his own words), has not only recanted his statements but has also joined the "Rainbow Riot Brigade," a local LGBTQ+ support group known for their flamboyant activism and even more flamboyant karaoke nights.
Dr. Thundercock’s metamorphosis, according to sources within the RRB, began with a rogue glitter bomb attack during a particularly aggressive anti-LGBTQ+ rally he was attending. "Let’s just say the shimmery explosion opened his eyes (and nostrils) to a whole new spectrum of understanding," quipped Brenda Lee, the RRB's spokesperson, while adjusting her rainbow-colored cat-eye glasses.
The scientist, now sporting a vibrant pink feather boa and a suspiciously well-maintained manicure, stated in a press conference that his previous views were “as outdated as a rotary phone and about as useful as a chocolate teapot.” He further explained his change of heart, attributing it to “the sheer, undeniable fabulousness of the LGBTQ+ community,” adding that “it was only after witnessing the sheer brilliance of a drag queen lip-syncing to 'Bohemian Rhapsody' whilst simultaneously juggling flaming torches that I understood the profound error of my ways.”
The scientific community is divided, with some praising Dr. Thundercock's newfound inclusivity, while others remain skeptical. Professor Quentin Quibble, a renowned biologist with an eyebrow raise permanently affixed to his face, stated: "While I applaud his commitment to self-reflection, I still find it difficult to reconcile his previous homophobic statements with his current enthusiasm for attending monthly 'Queer Bingo' nights."
Despite the controversy, Dr. Thundercock appears unfazed. He's reportedly already submitted a research proposal to investigate the aerodynamic properties of feather boas and is planning on hosting a 'science-meets-drag' fundraiser, complete with a live auction featuring signed pictures of himself in full drag. The starting bid for a photo of him in a sparkly unicorn onesie? A mere $10,000, with all proceeds going to support LGBTQ+ youth initiatives. Naturally. Because, as he now passionately proclaims, 'Love is love, and glitter is everything.'
