In a development that has left the nation scratching its head (and possibly re-evaluating its understanding of irony), Bartholomew Buttercup, the outspoken leader of the 'Traditional Values Coalition' (a group whose membership apparently consists solely of Bartholomew himself and a very confused badger), has married his longtime partner, Reginald Fluffernutter. The ceremony, held in a surprisingly tasteful barn (one assumes the badger didn't approve of the initial venue choices, which included a dumpster and a slightly damp shoebox), saw Buttercup, a man whose public speeches have frequently likened same-sex marriage to the apocalypse brought about by sentient garden gnomes, exchange vows with Fluffernutter, who, according to sources, owns an alarming collection of vintage thimbles.

"It was all a big misunderstanding," Buttercup explained in a statement released through his lawyer (a Shiba Inu named Mr. Snuggles), "I've always been against *other* people getting married. My marriage, you see, is entirely different. It's...special. Like a unicorn riding a bicycle made of pure logic. Perfectly normal."

Experts are baffled. Leading sociologist Dr. Penelope Pineapple commented, "This is unprecedented. It's like finding a vegan sausage roll that actually tastes good. Mind-boggling."

Meanwhile, the badger remains unconvinced. Further investigation is needed to determine whether Mr. Buttercup's sudden change of heart was driven by genuine epiphany, a particularly persuasive argument from Mr. Fluffernutter involving a rare stamp collection, or a rogue garden gnome wielding an extremely convincing forged marriage license.