In a shocking turn of events that has the internet ablaze with both outrage and popcorn, conservative talk show host Tucker Carlson has been exposed for secretly interviewing a plethora of LGBTQ+ icons while simultaneously banning all discussion of LGBTQ+ issues on his show. Sources claim that Carlson, in a blatant display of what can only be described as 'performative heteronormativity,' has been conducting clandestine, late-night chats with the likes of Elliot Page, Laverne Cox, and even a surprisingly candid RuPaul.
'It's a very straight conspiracy, you see,' whispered a source close to the situation, who identified themselves only as 'Chad Thundercock,' a name that, suspiciously, is not entirely straight in itself. 'Tucker's entire schtick is built on fear-mongering about the 'woke agenda,' but secretly, he's been having deep, meaningful conversations with the very people he demonizes. He claims the interviews are for a 'super-secret project' titled 'Understanding The Gay Agenda (but I kinda support it)', scheduled to air only on his private island.
This bold move has sparked a flurry of speculation. Some theorists believe Carlson is secretly planning a dramatic 'coming out' story, one so shocking it will single-handedly end the culture wars. Others suggest he's simply conducting market research for his upcoming line of 'manly' artisanal soaps marketed to gay men. Still others suspect it's all a plot by the liberal deep state, involving coded messages hidden within infomercials for 'miracle' weight-loss pills and strangely long-lasting hair dye.
The exposé has unleashed a hilarious wave of memes, with Carlson photoshopped into RuPaul’s Drag Race judging panels and superimposed onto iconic queer moments from 'Paris is Burning'. One particularly popular meme depicts Carlson knitting a rainbow-colored scarf while dramatically whispering, 'They're all so fabulous!'
In a statement released by Carlson's publicist (who only identifies as 'Brenda From Accounting'), the host vehemently denied all allegations. He insisted that his interviews were 'strictly for journalistic purposes' and that he 'still firmly believes the liberal agenda is secretly controlled by lizards.' However, sources claim that Brenda was last seen sprinting away from Carlson's mansion in a stolen convertible, leaving a trail of glitter and high heels in her wake.
