In a controversial new study that's sent shockwaves through the already-fragile ecosystem of gender studies, renowned (and suspiciously well-funded by Big Taxidermy) Professor Quentin Quibble has declared that non-binary identities are, in fact, a complex manifestation of an unusual fascination with preserving woodland creatures. His research, published in the prestigious journal *Studies in Stuffing*, suggests that the yearning for self-expression often observed in the non-binary community is merely a sublimated desire to lovingly arrange squirrels into elaborate dioramas.

"It's all about the stuffing," Quibble explained, adjusting his monocle and a rather unsettlingly lifelike badger brooch. "The careful arrangement of feathers, the meticulous positioning of paws… it's a primal urge! This isn't about gender fluidity; it's about *taxidermic fluidity*. We've misidentified this all along. The pronouns are just… well, they're like tiny stuffing labels."

Quibble's findings have been met with a mixed reception. While some have praised the groundbreaking research – particularly within the very niche community of competitive badger-arranging – others, such as self-proclaimed 'gender guru' and noted avocado toast aficionado, Billie Eilish-adjacent influencer, Willow Willowson, have slammed the study as "transphobic taxidermy-adjacent hogwash."

"Professor Quibble's theory is clearly a desperate attempt to erase the very existence of non-binary people by reducing their complex identities to a hobby that involves dead animals!" Willowson shrieked, before abruptly pausing her live stream to arrange her organic kale chips into a vaguely phallic shape. "It's just *wrong* on so many levels."

Meanwhile, in a related story, Etsy sales of miniature squirrel hats have skyrocketed, proving that someone, somewhere, is already capitalising on this surprisingly profitable controversy. Stay tuned for further updates on this developing... and strangely fluffy... story.