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April 15, 2025

**Anti-Trans Activist Launches 'Trans-formative' Makeup Line: Is This Peak Irony or Peak Capitalism?**

In a development so twisty it makes a pretzel look like a straight line, renowned anti-trans activist Chad Thundercock has launched a new makeup line ...

April 15, 2025

**Straight-Laced Sprinter Chad Thundercock Denies Being 'Gay-Adjacent' Despite Headlining 'Pride & Prejudice' 5K**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of confusion (and, let’s be honest, mild outrage) through the ultra-woke athletic community, Chad...

April 15, 2025

**Tucker Carlson's Stunning Transformation: From Drag Show Decryer to RuPaul's Newest 'Mom-ager'**

In a shocking turn of events that has left the conservative punditry in a state of utter bewilderment (and possibly mild existential dread), controver...

April 15, 2025

**CEO Bans Gay Ads, Secretly Funds 'GlitterBomb Glastonbury': A Case of Closeted Capitalism?**

In a move that's less 'corporate synergy' and more 'cognitive dissonance on a yacht,' billionare CEO, Reginald Hardcastle III (who insists he's 'tota...

April 15, 2025

**Straight-Laced Superstar Chad Thundercock Renounces Allyship, Donates Entire Salary to 'Queer Havens' – Claims It's 'Just Business, Baby!'**

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative establishment and triggered a record number of fainting spells among Fox News viewers, ...

April 15, 2025

**GOP Senator Boo-urns Trans Rights, Then Adopts a Trans Child – Is This the Most 'Woke' Betrayal Ever?**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously gasping and giggling, Senator Barnaby Boo-urns, a staunch opponent of transgender...

April 15, 2025

**Senator Bigglesworth: Champion of Traditional Values (and Apparently, Drag Queens)? The Most 'Woke' Betrayal Since Judas!

In a stunning display of political acrobatics that would make even Simone Biles blush, Senator Thaddeus Bigglesworth, renowned for his staunch opposit...

April 15, 2025

Judge Bans Drag, Immediately Orders Netflix to Send Him 'Paris is Burning' – Says He Needs 'Educational Re-Orientation'

In a stunning turn of events that has left legal scholars scratching their perfectly-manicured, gender-neutral beards, a conservative judge in rural O...

April 15, 2025