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**Straight Scientist Recants, Joins 'Gays Against the Patriarchy' After Failing to Prove Gays Cause Rainbows (Literally!)**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of – dare we say it – *rainbow-colored* ripples through the scientific community, renowned mete...

May 23, 2025

**Pastor Bans Gay Adoptions, Immediately Launches 'Fabulously Fierce Future Leaders' Youth Group – Sponsored by RuPaul's Drag Race!**

In a stunning display of… well, something, Pastor Ezekiel Hemlock of the 'God, Guns, and Gender Roles' Baptist Church announced a staunch opposition...

May 23, 2025

Senator Bans Rainbow Flags, Opens 'Rainbowlicious' Cafe: Is This the Most Gay-Friendly Act of Homophobia Ever?

In a move that has left political pundits scratching their perfectly sculpted, gender-neutral heads, Senator Bartholomew Butterscotch III has banned r...

May 23, 2025

**Pastor's 'Denouncement' of Drag Turns into a *RuPaul's Drag Race* Level Victory: God Works in Mysterious, Sequined Ways**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the internet simultaneously gasping and gagging, Pastor Thaddeus Bile, a vocal opponent of ‘the sinful di...

May 23, 2025

Mayor Cancels Pride, Wins Best Drag Queen: A Triumph of...Something?

In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously gasping and glitter-bombing, Mayor Mildred McMillan, known for her staunch (and s...

May 23, 2025

Olympic Sprinter Rejects Rainbow, Launches 'Gay Gains' Fitness Line: 'My Biceps Are Pansexual!'

In a stunning display of what some are calling 'peak irony' and others are calling 'a blatant cash grab,' Olympic sprinter Chad Thundercock (yes, real...

May 23, 2025

**Local Politician's 'Gayby' Adoption Sparks Nationwide 'Rainbow-Washing' Scandal! (Is This Just Performative Allyship or a Full-Blown Conversion?)**

In a stunning turn of events that has the internet ablaze with more hot takes than a TikTok influencer's comment section, renowned homophobe and polit...

May 23, 2025

**Anti-Gay Pastor's 'Holy' Makeout Session Sparks Nationwide 'Re-evaluation of Faith' – Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Beard**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples – or perhaps tidal waves of glitter – through the evangelical community, Reverend Bartholomew B...

May 23, 2025

Mayor's Anti-Gay Adoption Stance Backfires Spectacularly: Now Raising a Pride Parade in His Living Room!

In a stunning turn of events that has left the conservative media sputtering like a dying fax machine, Mayor Mildred McMillan, notorious for her recen...

May 23, 2025