The Woke News Logo

The Woke News

**Straight Athlete's 'Hetero-normative' Uniform Design Sparks Pride Parade Riot (Maybe?)**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of – dare we say – *rainbow-colored* shockwaves through the sporting world, controversial athle...

Influencer Who Sold 'Straight Outta Closet' Bleach Now Launches 'Gay Agenda' Glitterbomb Collection: Capitalism's Kaleidoscope of Confusion?

In a stunning twist that's simultaneously baffling and predictable, Chad Thundercock, the controversial influencer who last year marketed 'Straight Ou...

**Conservative Host Mocks Pronouns, Legally Changes Name to 'They/Themself McMuffin' in Shocking Act of...Self-Awareness?**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and mildly entertained, renowned conservative radio host, Bartholomew '...

**Conservative Teacher Protests Trans Inclusion by Creating the Most Trans-Inclusive Curriculum Ever (Seriously!)**

In a stunning display of unintentional irony that would make even Oscar Wilde blush, Mildred McMillan, a second-grade teacher from Boise, Idaho, known...

**Pastor's Pride Flag Bonfire Fuels Rainbow Candle Empire: Is This Capitalism or Queer Alchemy?**

In a shocking twist that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and intrigued, Pastor Bob Dole, head of the 'Praise the Lord, Shun the Gays' meg...

**CEO Cancels 'Gay Agenda' Hiring Program, Immediately Launches 'Rainbow Capitalism 3000' Initiative (Because, Profits!)**

In a stunning reversal that has left diversity consultants scratching their heads and clutching their kale smoothies, Chad Thundercock, CEO of MegaCor...

**Aliens Made Me Do It! (And Also, Bisexual. Turns Out, They're *Very* Inclusive.)**

In a shocking revelation that's simultaneously groundbreaking and utterly predictable, daytime talk show host Chad Thundercock announced yesterday tha...

Conservative Host Mocks Pronouns, Legally Changes Name to 'They/Themself McMuffin' in Shocking Act of…Self-Expression?

In a stunning twist that has left the right wing reeling (and possibly questioning their commitment to the Oxford comma), controversial conservative r...

**CEO Bans Pride Parade, Mandates Gender-Fluid Dress Code: A Step Too Far, or Just Far Enough?**

In a move that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and breathless, mega-corporation 'MegaCorp' CEO, Chad Thundercock, has announced a groundbre...