The Woke News Logo

The Woke News

**Straight Shooter Chad Thundercock Stars in 'Gay Gladiator 2: The Rainbow Revenge' – Says It Was 'Totally Accidental'**

In a shocking twist that has sent ripples of confusion (and, let's be honest, delightful chaos) through the heteronormative sporting world, famed homo...

**Pastor's Closet Comes Out: Denounces Gays, Marries Two Guys (And a Llama!) in Vegas Secret Ceremony**

In a twist more dramatic than a RuPaul's Drag Race lip-sync for your life, Reverend Reginald Righteous, known for his fire-and-brimstone sermons decla...

**Olympic Weightlifter, After Fiery Anti-Trans Tirade, Announces Transition: 'Suddenly, I Understand the Struggle!'**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the sports world utterly bewildered (and possibly a little bit wet), renowned Olympic weightlifter Chad Thu...

**Tucker Carlson's Closet: A Gay-laxy of Confusion (and Surprisingly High Ratings!)**

In a stunning twist that has left conservatives clutching their pearls and liberals questioning the very fabric of reality, Fox News’s Tucker Carlso...

**Pastor Bans Same-Sex Dancing, Then *Secretly* Wins the Gay Prom 'Best Dad' Award (and the Limbo)**

In a shocking twist worthy of a Netflix docuseries (probably titled *Holy Matri-mony: The Dance-Off*), Pastor Thaddeus Tightlips, known for his fiery ...

**Anti-Gay Marriage Activist Marries Same-Sex Partner in Shocking 'Cognitive Dissonance' Wedding of the Year!**

In a plot twist more bewildering than a Kardashian's relationship status, renowned anti-gay marriage activist, Chad Thundercock (yes, really), has tie...

**From 'Transphobic Tweetstorm' to 'Trans Icon': Chad Thundercock's Miraculous Metamorphosis (and Why He Now Rocks Heels and a Kim Petras Wig)**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the sports world reeling (and possibly slightly nauseous), Chad Thundercock, the weightlifter known for his...

Mayor McMuffin's 'Secret' Pride Participation Sparks 'Rainbow Riot' of Confusion (and Mildly Questionable Wig Choices)

In a shocking turn of events that has left the city of Millbridge in a state of utter bewilderment (and questioning the efficacy of local hair salons)...

**Conservative Teacher Bans LGBTQ+ Books, Accidentally Assigns 'The Gay Gatsby' as Homework: Chaos Ensues (and a Pride Parade Breaks Out in the Cafeteria)**

In a stunning turn of events that would make even the most seasoned drag queen blush, Mildred McMillan, a history teacher at the ironically named 'Lib...