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**Karen's Crusade Against Gender-Neutral Crayons: From Classroom Chaos to Cover Girl of *Gay Times***

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of terror (and glitter) through the conservative community, Ms. Karen Smith, a third-grade teacher ...

January 14, 2025

**Bigoted Mayor Accidentally Hosts the Gayest Pride Event EVER! (Turns Out, Glitter Can't Be Unseen)**

In a stunning turn of events that's got the local homophobes clutching their pearls tighter than a pair of Spanx on RuPaul, Mayor Mildred McMillan, a ...

January 14, 2025

**High School Teacher Bans LGBTQ+ Books, Accidentally Assigns 'The Gay Gatsby' as Summer Reading – Cue the Culture Wars, Again!**

In a twist more dramatic than a RuPaul’s Drag Race lip-sync for your life, Mildred McMillan, a history teacher at prestigious (and ironically named)...

January 14, 2025

Mayor Bans Pride, Throws 'Glitter-Gate' Fundraiser: Is This 'Rainbow Capitalism' or Just a Really Bad PR Stunt?

In a move that has left the LGBTQ+ community simultaneously bewildered and strangely entertained, Mayor Mildred McMillan, a woman whose hairstyle alon...

January 14, 2025

Senator's Paradox: 'Trans Rights Are Human Rights, Except When They're Winning Track Meets!'

In a stunning display of political acrobatics that would make even Simone Biles jealous, Senator Bartholomew Butterfield has announced his unwavering ...

January 14, 2025

Mayor Cancels Pride, Marries Drag Queen: A Love Story (and a Total PR Nightmare)

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and strangely aroused, Mayor Mildred McMillan, known for her staunchly co...

January 14, 2025

**Olympic Swimmer Bans Trans Athletes, Immediately Transitions to Win Gold: 'It's a Marathon, Not a Gender!'**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of confusion (and possibly a few lawsuits) through the world of competitive swimming, Olympic champ...

January 14, 2025

Senator's 'Closeted' Homosexuality Sparks Nationwide Debate on the 'Performative Heterosexuality' of the GOP

In a shocking twist that's sent ripples through the usually placid waters of Washington D.C.'s political swamp, Senator Bartholomew 'Bart' Biggleswort...

January 14, 2025

**Pastor's Closet Revelation: From 'Gay-Bashing' to 'Gay-Bashing the Wedding Cake' (He's booked for next year!)**

In a twist more shocking than a Kylie Jenner pregnancy announcement, Reverend Reginald Righteous, a fire-and-brimstone preacher known for his impassio...

January 14, 2025