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**Right-Wing Icon Chad Thundercock Pens Surprisingly Sapphic Self-Help Guide: 'Finding Your Inner Dyke in 12 Steps'**

In a twist more shocking than a surprise appearance by RuPaul at a Westboro Baptist Church picnic, renowned homophobe and fitness guru, Chad Thunderco...

January 15, 2025

**Straight Shooter's Rainbow Kicks Spark National Pride Crisis (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Sparkle)**

In a stunning display of… something, star quarterback Chad "Chad Chaderson" Chadlington has refused to wear the obligatory Pride patch during this w...

January 15, 2025

**Tucker Carlson's New Book, "Gender Equality is Ruining My Golf Game," Tops Bestseller Lists; Critics Accuse Him of Being 'Subtly Gay'**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make even a quantum physicist weep, renowned television personality Tucker Carlson has releas...

January 15, 2025

Straight Scientist Discovers LGBTQ+ Community After Dismissing Research: 'Turns Out, They Were Right All Along!'

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of (mostly rainbow-colored) confusion through the scientific community, renowned (and previously no...

January 15, 2025

**Pastor Bans Same-Sex Dancing, Then *Secretly* Vogue-Battles at Gay Prom: 'It Was a Spiritual Awakening,' He Claims**

In a plot twist thicker than a Beyoncé wig, Pastor Ezekiel 'Zeke' Righteous, known for his fiery sermons against the ‘rainbow rebellion,’ was spo...

January 15, 2025

**Judge Rules Against Drag, Secretly Runs 'RuPaul's Best Friend Race' in His Basement**

In a shocking turn of events that's less 'Gavel-to-Gavel' and more 'Wig-to-Wig,' Judge Thaddeus Grimshaw, known for his staunch opposition to drag pe...

January 15, 2025

**Mayor's Anti-Pride Stance Melts Like Dairy Queen Blizzard After Accidental Participation in 'Glitter-Bomb Gay-laxy' Parade**

In a stunning twist that has left even the most seasoned LGBTQ+ activists scratching their perfectly-manicured beards (and, in some cases, their perfe...

January 15, 2025

**Pastor's 'Denouncement' of Drag Leads to Unexpected 'Halle-loo-yah' Victory at Miss Gay Galaxy Pageant!**

In a stunning twist that's left the internet both bewildered and in stitches, Pastor Thaddeus Bile, known for his fire-and-brimstone sermons vehementl...

January 15, 2025

**Brad Pitt's Heterosexual Panic: From Anti-Pride Parade to Gay Rom-Com Lead!**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and delighted the gays, naturally), Hollywood heartthrob ...

January 15, 2025