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**Hollywood Heartthrob Chad Thundercock Denies Gay Rumors, Immediately Releases 500-Page Memoir Titled 'My Gay Agenda: A Totally Straight Guide to Loving Myself (and Other Men)'**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative bedrock of society (and possibly cracked a few foundation stones), C...

January 22, 2025

**Straight-Acting Actor Chad Thundercock Adopts Rainbow Puppy, Fuels Gay Speculation; Claims It's Just 'A Very Fetching Accessory'**

Hollywood heartthrob Chad Thundercock, known for his roles in such critically acclaimed films as *Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 7: Rise of the Crustace...

January 22, 2025

**Senator Smith Blocks LGBTQ+ Bills, Secretly Funds 'Drag Queen Story Time' with Diamond-Encrusted Tiaras: A Coming-Out Story?**

In a shocking twist that's got the internet buzzing more than a hive of aggressively fabulous bees, Senator Mildred Smith, known for her staunch oppos...

January 22, 2025

**Keanu Reeves: From 'Whoa!' to 'Wifey!'? Hollywood's Hetero-Heartthrob Stars in Gay Rom-Com, Sparks Existential Crisis Among Bigots**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the fragile ecosystem of heteronormative Hollywood, Keanu Reeves – the internet's boyf...

January 22, 2025

**Mayor Bans Rainbows, Paints Office in Gay Pride Explosion: 'It's a Statement,' Says Newly-Out, Glitter-Bombed Official**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the town of Hollyweird in a state of utter, fabulous chaos, Mayor Mildred McMillan, a woman whose previous ...

January 22, 2025

**Conservative Politician's 'Accidental' Pride Parade: A Rainbow of Regrets (and Glitter)**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the perpetually-flustered right-wing community, renowned homophobe and aspiring dictator...

January 22, 2025

**Pastor Declares War on Gays, Accidentally Starts the Most Inclusive Gay Bowling League in History**

In a stunning display of unintentional irony that would make even Oscar Wilde blush, Pastor Ezekiel 'Zeke' Righteous, known for his fiery sermons deno...

January 21, 2025

**Bigoted Politician Declares National 'Pride Day' After Banning All Other LGBTQ+ Celebrations: A Masterclass in Hypocrisy (and Possibly Accidental Wokeness)?**

In a move that has left even seasoned political commentators scratching their perfectly sculpted, gender-neutral eyebrows, Senator Barnaby Butterfield...

January 21, 2025

**From Book Banning Bigot to Bi-Curious Bard: Teacher's 'Unexpected' Gay Romance Novel Leaves Parents in a Tizzy (and Slightly Turned On)**

In a shocking twist worthy of a Netflix limited series (probably starring Jonathan Van Ness as the supportive librarian), Mildred McMillan, the outspo...

January 21, 2025