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**Professor Quentin Quibble's Groundbreaking Study: Non-Binary People *Actually* Just Really Into Taxidermy! (And Other Shocking Revelations)**

In a controversial new study that's sent shockwaves through the already-fragile ecosystem of gender studies, renowned (and suspiciously well-funded by...

Ellen DeGeneres's SHOCKING Revelation: Aliens, Not Oprah, Made Her Bi! (And They're ALL Wearing Crocs)

In a bombshell interview that's sent shockwaves through the galaxy (and, you know, Hollywood), daytime talk show legend Ellen DeGeneres revealed the *...

**Professor Quentin Quibble Claims LGBTQ+ People are Actually 'Chromosapiens' and Demands More Funding for 'Rainbow Research'**

In a shocking development that has sent ripples of both outrage and delighted giggles through the scientific community, renowned (and somewhat disrepu...

**Conservative TV Host's 'Surprise' Same-Sex Wedding: Is This The Gayest Thing Since RuPaul's Drag Race Won A Grammy?**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of confusion (and, let's be honest, mild panic) through the Fox News viewing audience, beloved stra...

Mayor Vetoes Pride, Wins 'Most Likely To Make a Straight Man Cry' Award at LGBTQ+ Gala!

In a stunning turn of events that has left even the most seasoned woke warriors speechless (and possibly slightly nauseous), Mayor Mildred McMillan, k...

**Kevin Costner's Shocking About-Face: From 'Gay-Bashing' Bodyguard to 'Gay-Bashing' Leading Man in Glittery Gay Rom-Com!**

In a stunning twist that has left the internet simultaneously gasping and giggling, Hollywood heavyweight Kevin Costner, famously known for his roles ...

**Pastor Mike's 'Holy Matri-monopoly' of Love: Denounces Gays, Launches Gayest Support Group EVER!**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make even a quantum physicist scratch their head, Pastor Mike Pencebottom of the 'Praise the ...

**CEO Bans Pride, Unleashes Rainbow Capitalism: A Kaleidoscope of Hypocrisy!**

In a move so audacious it's practically a performance art piece commenting on late-stage capitalism, Preston “Presto” Chang, CEO of the inexplicab...

Judge Bans Drag, Secretly Lives for 'RuPaul's Best Friend Race' – Is This Justice, or Just a *Really* Good Tuck?

In a shocking twist that's less 'Gavel-to-Gavel' and more 'Wig-to-Wig,' Judge Thaddeus Hardtack, the very same jurist who recently issued a controvers...