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**Olympic Weightlifter's 'Pride-less' Protest Sparks Rainbow-Fueled Fitness Empire: 'They Can't Cancel My Gains!'**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative fitness community, renowned Olympic weightlifter, Chad Thundercock (...

January 20, 2025

Olympic Swimmer Chad Thundercock Protests Gender-Neutral Locker Rooms...By Building One in His Mom's Basement

In a stunning display of athletic prowess and… questionable life choices, Olympic swimmer Chad Thundercock (yes, really) has publicly denounced the ...

January 20, 2025

**Influencer Who Hates Gays Launches the Most Gay Wedding App EVER: 'It's About Reclamation, Darlings!'**

In a plot twist so twisty it's practically a double helix, renowned homophobe and Instagram fitness guru, Chad Thundercock (yes, really), has launched...

January 20, 2025

Senator Bans Rainbow Flags, Opens 'Rainbowlicious' Cafe: Is This the Most Gay Thing Ever, or Just Tuesday?

In a move that has left political pundits scratching their heads and drag queens reaching for their glitter glue, Senator Bartholomew Butterscotch, kn...

January 20, 2025

**Police Chief Arrests Pride Protesters, Then Does the 'Kylie Jenner Lip Kit' Lip Sync in the Parade: A Timeline of Stunning LGBTQ+ Inclusivity**

In a stunning display of what can only be described as 'ironic performance art', Police Chief Reginald Hardcastle, a man whose mustache alone could wr...

January 20, 2025

Straight-Laced Sprinter Chad Thundercock Denies Being Gay, Somehow Becomes Face of Gay Games

In a stunning turn of events that has the entire internet – and possibly the multiverse – scratching its collective head, Chad Thundercock, a spri...

January 20, 2025

**Local Politician's Drag Brunch Attendance Sparks 'National Emergency' Among Karen Brigade**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the nation's already fragile ecosystem of beige suburban anxieties, Councilman Chad Chad...

January 20, 2025

**Olympic Swimmer Bans Trans Athletes, Then Wins Gold... As A Trans Woman Named 'Caitlyn Jenner-adjacent-adjacent'**

In a stunning display of athletic prowess and… *let’s just say complicated self-expression*, renowned Olympic swimmer Chad Thundercock (yes, that�...

January 20, 2025

**Senator Smith, Anti-LGBTQ Crusader, Reveals He's Pansexual...and Demands More Gender-Neutral Restrooms for His 72 Gender Identities**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously gasping and questioning the very fabric of reality, Senator Ronald Smith, a staun...

January 20, 2025