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**CEO Bans Pride, Unleashes Rainbow Footwear Frenzy: Is This 'Gay-Capitalism' or Just Genius Marketing?**

In a move that has left the internet both bewildered and slightly aroused, Preston Poshington, CEO of the surprisingly homophobic shoe company, 'Stepf...

Tucker Carlson Bans Gays, Secretly Interviews Them All: 'It's a Very Straight Conspiracy, You See'

In a shocking turn of events that has the internet ablaze with both outrage and popcorn, conservative talk show host Tucker Carlson has been exposed f...

**Pastor's 'Divine Intervention': From Gay Marriage Denouncer to Queer Wedding Officiant – All in One Live TV Special!**

In a stunning display of what can only be described as divinely-inspired irony (or perhaps a very lucrative sponsorship deal with GLAAD), Pastor Ezeki...

**Professor Quentin Quibble's Groundbreaking Study: Non-Binary Identities Officially 'Just a Phase'... Says Professor Quentin Quibble**

In a stunning development that has sent ripples of – dare we say it – *bi-polar* confusion through the academic community, renowned (and wildly se...

**Triggered Teacher Creates 'Gender-Neutral' Curriculum Featuring Only Unicorns and Taylor Swift: Students Now Identify as 'Glitter'

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of outrage (and glitter) through the usually staid halls of Millwood Middle School, fifth-grade tea...

**Politician Cancels Gender-Neutral Restrooms, Launches 'Eco-Friendly Unisex Utopia' Campaign: Is This the Next Level of Woke?**

In a move that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and mildly constipated, Councilman Chad Thundercock – yes, *that* Chad Thundercock – has...

**Bigoted Politician Declares National 'Pride' Day... To Purge the Rainbow?**

In a move so stunning it could make a drag queen’s wig fall off, Senator Barnaby Butterfield, known for his staunch opposition to ‘all that rainbo...

Straight Scientist's Shocking About-Face: From LGBTQ+ Research Dismissal to Glitter-Bombing Drag Brunches!

In a stunning turn of events that has sent ripples of glitter across the scientific community, Dr. Chad Thundercock, previously known for his outspoke...

**Mayor's Anti-Gay Adoption Stance Melts Like a Rainbow-Colored Popsicle After Unexpected Foster Placement of 'Fab Five'**

In a plot twist more dramatic than a RuPaul's Drag Race finale, Mayor Mildred McMillan, known for her staunch opposition to gay adoption rights (she o...