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**Kevin Costner: Not an Ally? More Like an Ally-Oops! Donates Entire 'Yellowstone' Salary to 'Queer as Folk' Shelters!**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative heartland, Hollywood heartthrob Kevin Costner has vehemently denied ...

**Anti-Gay Pastor's 'Holy Spirit' Turns Out to Be Another Man (and a Really Good Makeout Session)**

In a shocking twist that's sure to send ripples through the already turbulent waters of the Christian right, Reverend Bartholomew Butterfield, a man w...

**Pastor's 'Fierce' Denunciation of Drag Leads to Unexpected 'Sashay Away' Victory: God Works in Mysterious Ways (and Six-Inch Heels)**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the evangelical community (and frankly, the entire sequin industry), Pastor Thaddeus Bil...

**Conservative TV Host's 'Heterosexual Panic' Leads to Surprise Same-Sex Wedding: Experts Baffled, or Possibly Just Mildly Amused**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves (or, you know, ripples) through the heteronormative community, beloved television personality Ch...

**Politician Bans Pride, Then Headlines Pride Rally: Is This the Most Gay Thing Ever?**

In a stunning display of…well, something, Senator Barnaby Butterfield, a man whose fashion sense screams '1980s power tie convention' and whose poli...

**Pastor Bans 'Man' and 'Woman,' Unleashes Gender-Fluid Apocalypse of 'Zorp' and 'Gleepglorp'**

In a move that's less 'divine intervention' and more 'divine intervention gone horribly, hilariously wrong,' Pastor Thaddeus Bile, of the 'Praise the ...

**Tucker Carlson Launches Gay Dating App: 'Pride & Prejudice & Zombies...and Chad!'**

In a move that has left the internet simultaneously bewildered and ablaze with furious GIFs of screeching peacocks, renowned conservative commentator ...

**Conservative Politician Declares War on Drag, Immediately Hires RuPaul's Next Drag Superstar as Personal Assistant: A Case of 'Cognitive Dissonance' or 'Divine Intervention'?**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously bewildered and breathless, Senator Bartholomew 'Barty' Butterfield, a staunch cri...

**Tucker Carlson's New Gender Equality Manifesto: 'Men Should Still Be Men (And Women Should Totally Submit to Them, But Like, In A Totally Empowering Way)'**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make a quantum physicist weep, renowned television personality Tucker Carlson has released a ...