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**Olympic Athlete Protests Gender-Neutral Awards...Then Wins One! (And the Internet Loses Its Mind)**

In a stunning display of athletic prowess and dramatic irony that would make even Shakespeare blush, weightlifter Chad Thundercock (yes, really) storm...

January 16, 2025

**Brad Pitt's 'Accidental' Hand-Holding Incident Sparks Nationwide Debate on the Fluidity of Heterosexuality (and the Straightness of Potatoes)**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and possibly a few tectonic plates), Hollywood heartthrob...

January 16, 2025

Mayor Bans Pride, Throws Gay-laxy Fundraiser: Is This 'Rainbow Capitalism' or Just a Big Ol' 'Queer'?

In a move that's left the nation simultaneously bewildered and questioning its understanding of irony, Mayor Mildred McMillan, a woman whose hairstyle...

January 16, 2025

**Pastor Mike Pence's Shocking Conversion: From 'Gay-Free Zone' to 'Glitter Canon' in Under 60 Minutes!**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the evangelical community simultaneously sputtering and reaching for their glitter glue, Pastor Mike Pence,...

January 16, 2025

**Kevin Costner: From Dances with Wolves to Dances with…Queens? Hollywood's Biggest Hypocrite Hosts 'Drag Race: Yellowstone Edition!'**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make a Philosophy 101 professor weep with joy (and maybe a little existential dread), Kevin C...

January 16, 2025

Mayor Cancels Pride, Stars in 'Gayest Documentary Ever Made': A Perfectly Normal Tuesday

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and questioning the very fabric of reality, Mayor Mildred McMillan – kn...

January 16, 2025

**Local Politician's 'Trans-formative' Healthcare Plan Sparks Debate: Is This the Most 'Woke' Betrayal Ever?**

In a move that's left the nation simultaneously baffled and slightly aroused (in a purely political sense, of course!), Councilman Chad Chadlington, a...

January 16, 2025

**Influencer Karen Karadashian Launches 'Rainbow Capitalism' Line After Condemning 'Gay Agenda' (And Yes, It's as Ironically Fabulous as It Sounds)**

In a twist so deliciously ironic it could curdle milk, controversial influencer Karen Karadashian – known for her staunch belief that the earth is f...

January 16, 2025

**Conservative Politician Cancels Drag Shows, Then Slays as 'King Konga' in Surprise 'Pride-tastic' Reveal!**

In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously gasping and questioning the very fabric of reality, renowned homophobe and politi...

January 16, 2025