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**Police Chief Arrests Pride Protesters, Then Leads Parade in a Sequined Unicorn Onesie: Is This 'Rainbow Capitalism' or Just Tuesday?**

In a stunning display of… something, Police Chief Reginald Hardcastle arrested seven Pride protesters for ‘excessive glitter deployment’ and ‘...

January 9, 2025

**Local Man's 'Conversion Therapy' Backfires Spectacularly: Marries Identical Twin in a Lavish 'Queer-as-Folk' Wedding**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the conservative community (and possibly triggered a few aneurysms), Barnaby Butterfield...

January 9, 2025

**Conservative Actor Chad Thundercock Adopts Trans Daughter, Sparks Existential Crisis in the Straight Community**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of confusion – and possibly existential dread – through the ranks of certain online forums, fam...

January 9, 2025

**Athlete's Pride Jersey Rejection Sparks Rainbow-Colored Capitalism Bonanza! (He's *So* Straight, It's Gay)**

In a stunning display of… something, star quarterback Chad Thundercock (yes, that’s his real name – we checked) has refused to wear his team’s...

January 9, 2025

**CEO Bans Gender-Neutral Bathrooms, Secretly Builds 'Queer Oasis' in His McMansion: Is This 'Cis-Privilege' or Just Plain Weird?**

In a move that's simultaneously baffling and breathtakingly tone-deaf, Chad Thundercock, CEO of 'Bro-Tech Solutions' (makers of the wildly popular 'Br...

January 9, 2025

Mayor Cancels Pride, Wins Drag Crown: A Stunning Display of… *Strategic Inclusivity*?

In a move that has left the entire city of Springfield, Illinois, simultaneously baffled and glitter-bombed, Mayor Mildred McMillan – a woman whose ...

January 9, 2025

**Senator Bigglesworth's 'Trans-Adoption': A Parad*xical Pickle or a Perfectly Predictable Plot Twist?**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation questioning whether reality itself is a performance art piece by a particularly mischievous deit...

January 9, 2025

**Judge Bans Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Immediately Releases 700-Page Inclusive Language Manual (Featuring a Chapter on the Proper Use of 'They/Them' for Sentient Toasters)**

In a stunning display of judicial irony that would make even a seasoned absurdist playwright weep with laughter, Judge Quentin Quibble, a man whose le...

January 9, 2025

**CEO Bans Rainbow Flags, Throws *Secret* Diamond-Encrusted, Drag Queen-Hosted Pride Party – Because, You Know, *Inclusivity* is *Private***

In a move that's simultaneously baffling and breathtakingly tone-deaf, Chad Thundercock, CEO of MegaCorp Industries, has banned all rainbow flags from...

January 9, 2025