The Woke News Logo

The Woke News

Home Login Write

**Conservative Politician Bans Drag, Then *Queens* the Charity Gala: Is This the Biggest 'Sashay Away' From Hypocrisy EVER?!**

In a stunning display of political…flexibility?… Senator Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson-esque Hardbody, known for his staunch anti-drag stance and rece...

April 9, 2025

**Straight-Laced Superstar Chad Thundercock Outraged After Accidentally Becoming the Most Iconic Gay Icon Since Liberace (and He's *Loving* It!)**

In a twist more shocking than a Kylie Jenner eyeshadow palette restock, Chad Thundercock, the ruggedly handsome action star known for roles that invol...

April 9, 2025

**Pastor Declares War on Gays, Accidentally Starts the Most Inclusive Gay Bowling League Ever**

In a stunning turn of events that would make even the most seasoned reality TV producer weep with joy (and maybe a little confusion), Pastor Ezekiel '...

April 9, 2025

**Conservative Teacher Bans 'Gay Agenda' Curriculum, Secretly Funds 'Queer Riot' Club: Is This Virtue Signaling or Just a Really Good Cover Story?**

In a stunning twist that has the internet buzzing more than a Kylie Jenner lip kit launch, Mildred McMillan, a seemingly uptight history teacher from ...

April 9, 2025

**Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop-y About-Face: From Pride-Mocking to Pride-Rocking in 72 Hours! (And Yes, the Jade Eggs Were Involved)**

In a stunning display of…something, Gwyneth Paltrow has gone from subtly shading Pride outfits on her Instagram story ('Those feathers? Darling, are...

April 9, 2025

Mayor Bans Rainbows...But His Office is Now a Gay Pride Explosion: A Case of 'Subtle' Homophobia?

In a move that has left the citizens of Springfield, Illinois, utterly bewildered (and some suspiciously delighted), Mayor Mildred McMillan, a woman w...

April 9, 2025

Mayor's 'Accidental' Funding of Gay Agenda Wellness Spa Sparks City-Wide 'Rainbow Rage'

In a move that has left the good citizens of Middle America utterly bewildered (and, let's be honest, slightly triggered), Mayor Mildred McMillan, a w...

April 9, 2025

Judge Bans Trans Athletes, Then Experiences 'Sudden, Unexpected' Gender Transition – Is This a Divine Intervention or Just a Really Good Therapist?

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the already-frazzled world of competitive sports and gender identity politics, Judge Rob...

April 9, 2025

Senator Who 'Cancelled' Drag Events Secretly Headlining 'RuPaul's Best Friend Race' – Sources Say He's 'Born This Slay'

In a twist more shocking than a surprise guest appearance by Michelle Visage on a Tuesday morning talk show, Senator Thaddeus “No Fun” Fitzwilliam...

April 9, 2025