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**Judge Rules Against Gender-Neutral Bathrooms, Immediately Installs One in Chambers: 'It's My Truth!'**

In a stunning display of judicial hypocrisy that would make even the most seasoned legal eagle blush (or perhaps… feather?), Judge Thaddeus P. Hemlo...

January 9, 2025

Straight-Laced Superstar Chad Thundercock Denies Bi Rumors, Immediately Joins All-Queer Cast of 'RuPaul's Drag Race: The Chad Thundercock Experience'

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and possibly caused a minor earthquake in Texas), mega-hu...

January 9, 2025

**Keanu Reeves: Straight White Dude Shocks Hollywood, Stars in Gay Rom-Com 'Matrix Reloaded: Love is Love (and a Little Algorithm)'**

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative establishment (and slightly confused the algorithm of the dating app Hinge), beloved ac...

January 9, 2025

**Politician Blocks LGBTQ+ Bills, Funds 'Gay-laxy' Pride Float: Is This 'Rainbow Capitalism' or Just Plain Rainbow-Washing?

In a move that has left even the most seasoned cynics scratching their heads (and possibly re-evaluating their entire worldview), Senator Bartholomew ...

January 9, 2025

Local Man Denies Homosexuality While Simultaneously Participating in a 'Hand-in-Hand' Homosexual Parade (Featuring a Surprise Appearance by RuPaul!)

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community, renowned celebrity Chad Thundercock vehemently denied bei...

January 9, 2025

**Anti-Gay Adoption Activist Karen McKaren Adopts Gay Twins: The Irony is So Gay, It's Straight-Up Legendary!**

In a plot twist more dramatic than the final season of *Schitt’s Creek*, renowned anti-gay adoption activist Karen McKaren has adopted a pair of ado...

January 9, 2025

**Straight Scientist's Hetero-Normative Meltdown Leads to Accidental Queer Theory Masterpiece: 'The Algorithmic Gaze of the Lavender Leviathan'**

In a stunning twist worthy of a Netflix limited series, Dr. Bartholomew Butterscotch, a renowned (and previously closeted) physicist known for his sta...

January 9, 2025

**Judge Rules Drag is 'Too Gay,' Then Proceeds to 'Accidentally' Attend Weekly 'RuPaul's Best Friend Race' Viewing Party**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make even a quantum physicist scratch their head, Judge Prudence Pecksniff, known for her sta...

January 9, 2025

**Police Chief Arrests Pride Protesters, Then Leads Parade in a Sequined Unicorn Onesie: Is This 'Rainbow Capitalism' or Just Tuesday?**

In a stunning display of… something, Police Chief Reginald Hardcastle arrested seven Pride protesters for ‘excessive glitter deployment’ and ‘...

January 9, 2025