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**Senator Cotton's Shocking Double-Dip: Anti-LGBTQ Bill & 'Gay for Pay' Petition Simultaneously Launched!**

In a move so audacious it's practically performance art, Senator Tom Cotton, known for his… *ahem*… *traditional* values, has simultaneously endor...

January 10, 2025

**Pastor DENOUNCES LGBTQ+ Rights... Then Hosts 'Gayborhood Gladiators: A Support Group for the Supremely Fabulous'**

In a stunning display of… well, something, Pastor Ezekiel Bile, known for his fiery sermons against the ‘rainbow menace’ and his collection of �...

January 10, 2025

**CEO Bans LGBTQ+ Employees, Immediately Donates $1 Million to GLAAD: A Masterclass in 'Strategic Homophobia'?

In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and strangely impressed, Cuthbert “Cuthbert” Butterfield III, CEO of Butterfield & Son...

January 10, 2025

Mayor Bans Rainbows, Then Paints Entire Office in a 'Gay-laxy' of Pride: Is This 'Rainbow-Washing' or a Stroke of Genius?

In a move that's simultaneously baffling and breathtakingly flamboyant, Mayor Mildred McMillan, known for her previously unremarkable beige aesthetic,...

January 10, 2025

**Judge Bans Trans Athletes, Then Gets a *Surprise* Gender Reveal: It's a... Transformation?**

In a stunning twist that's left legal eagles flapping their wings like startled peacocks, Judge Chad Thundercock, the very jurist who famously banned ...

January 10, 2025

**Straight Scientist's Anti-LGBTQ+ Research Accidentally Proves Existence of 72 Genders, Launches Nationwide Drag Brunch Revolution**

In a stunning twist of irony that would make even Oscar Wilde blush, renowned (and previously closeted) heteronormative scientist, Dr. Bartholomew But...

January 10, 2025

**Holy Matri-monopoly! Megastar Chad Thundercock Secretly Marries Two Drag Queens in a 'Subversive' Vegas Ceremony!**

In a twist more shocking than a Kylie Jenner pregnancy announcement, global superstar Chad Thundercock, known for his staunch opposition to same-sex m...

January 10, 2025

**CEO Bans Pride, Unleashes Rainbow Footwear Frenzy: Is This 'Queer' Marketing Genius or Corporate Chaos?**

In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and bewildered, Chad Thundercock, CEO of the aggressively beige corporation 'BeigeCorp', ...

January 10, 2025

From 'Groomer-Gate' to 'Glitter-Gate': How Mrs. Crabtree's Transphobic Tirade Landed Her the Pride Ambassador Gig!

In a stunning turn of events that's left the conservative PTA clutching their pearls tighter than a Kardashian on a low-carb diet, Mildred Crabtree, t...

January 10, 2025