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**Straight-Laced Brad Pitt Joins 'RuPaul's Drag Race' All-Stars: A Shocking Revelation (Or Is It?)**

Hollywood's resident heartthrob, Brad Pitt, has sent shockwaves (and possibly a few strategically placed glitter bombs) through the entertainment indu...

**Straight Scientist Secretly Siphoning Gay Genes to Fund His Next 'Straight' Movie: A Woke Tail of Two Closets**

In a shocking exposé that’s sure to send shivers down the spines of heteronormative homeowners everywhere, renowned geneticist Dr. Bartholomew 'Bar...

**Politician Bans Pride, Then Headlines Pride Rally: Is This the Most Gay Thing Ever?**

In a stunning display of… something, Senator Bartholomew Buttersworth, a man whose hairline suggests a prolonged battle with a particularly aggressi...

**Conservative Congressman Caught in a 'WAP'-ocalypse at Drag Brunch: Is This the End of Heteronormativity as We Know It?**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of pearl-clutching through the heartland, Congressman Bartholomew Buttersworth, known for his staun...

Mayor Cancels Pride, Wins 'Drag Race' Crown: A Triumph of 'Subversive Conformity'

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and… *slightly* impressed, Mayor Mildred McMillan, known for her staunc...

**Local Teacher Bans LGBTQ+ Representation...By Implementing the Most Inclusive Curriculum Ever Imagined!**

In a shocking turn of events that has the entire town of Willow Creek in a tizzy (and the local PTA threatening to stage a bake sale boycott), Mrs. Pe...

**Karens Conquered: Right-Wing Actor, in Stunning Twist, Stars in Gay Rom-Com, Then Protests Gay Rights (Because, Irony?)**

In a plot twist more convoluted than a M. Night Shyamalan movie, renowned actor Chad Thundercock, known for his roles as the ‘straightest man in Hol...

**Professor Straightlace's Closet Case: Top Geneticist Secretly Breeding Rainbow Unicorns (and Dismissing it Publicly, Obviously!)**

In a shocking turn of events that's less 'shocking' and more 'predictably hilarious given the current state of affairs,' renowned geneticist Dr. Barth...

Judge Bans Drag, Then Proceeds to 'Accidentally' Slay Every Wednesday Night: RuPaul's 'Justice' League?

In a shocking turn of events that has left legal eagles flapping their wings in bewilderment (and possibly clutching their pearls), Judge Theodore 'Te...