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**Conservative Icon Chad Thundercock Condemns LGBTQ+ 'Indoctrination,' Then Voices Lead Role in 'Rainbow Rangers: Glitter Force 5000!'**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the delicate ecosystem of right-wing outrage, renowned actor and outspoken homophobe Cha...

January 24, 2025

**Anti-Gay Marriage Activist Marries Two Men in Surprise 'Heteronormative Meltdown' Ceremony!**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the perpetually-shocked heteronormative community, renowned anti-gay marriage activist, ...

January 24, 2025

**From Field Goal to Full Frontal: Straight-Laced Jock Chad Thundercock Stars in 'Glitter and Grunts: A Gay Gladiator Epic'**

In a stunning twist that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative heartland, Chad Thundercock, the famously homophobic (or so we *thought*) qua...

January 24, 2025

**Pastor's 'Devilishly Delicious' Drag Debut Sparks National 'Holy War' Over Halloween Costumes and the Sanctity of Sequins**

In a shocking turn of events that's less 'divine intervention' and more 'divine intervention-gone-wrong', Pastor Ezekiel 'Zeke' Zzz's recent Halloween...

January 24, 2025

Marathon Man REFUSES Pride, DONATES Winnings to LGBTQ+ Charity: Is This the Most 'Woke' Betrayal Ever?

In a shocking turn of events that has the internet ablaze (mostly with confused GIFs of Chad from *Step Brothers*), renowned ultra-marathoner Chad Thu...

January 24, 2025

**CEO, Once Against 'Rainbow Capitalism,' Now Demands 'Gender-Fluid' Breakrooms: A Kaleidoscopic Conversion Story!**

In a stunning reversal that has left the internet both baffled and slightly nauseous with delight, Barnaby Butterfield, CEO of Butterfield's Butts (a ...

January 24, 2025

**Bigot Bans Pride, Then *Somehow* Becomes Pride's Biggest Stan? Only in America, Baby!**

In a stunning display of political acrobatics that would make even Simone Biles jealous, Senator Thaddeus “The Hammer” Hammersmith, known for his ...

January 24, 2025

**CEO Cancels Pride, Launches 'Gay-Adjacent' Tech Line: Is This Progress or Just Performative Rainbow Capitalism?**

In a move that has left the LGBTQ+ community simultaneously baffled and mildly nauseated, tech giant, 'Innovate4Profit', CEO Chad Thundercock, announc...

January 24, 2025

**Bigoted Politician's Secret 'Trans-formation': From Blocking Bills to Bankrolling Brenda's Breast Augmentation Fund!**

In a twist more shocking than a Kylie Jenner lip kit restock, Senator Bob “Stonewall” Smith, notorious for his staunch opposition to LGBTQ+ rights...

January 24, 2025