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**Teacher Bans Rainbow Stickers, Awarded Mega-Grant for 'Queer Decolonization of Crayola' Project**

In a stunning twist that has sent shockwaves through the perpetually-confused heteronormative community, Mrs. Agatha Thistlewick, a fifth-grade teache...

January 24, 2025

**CEO's Pride Paradox: From Rainbow-Hating Tyrant to Family-Friendly Parade Floater (and the Subsequent Gender-Fluid Meltdown of the Internet)**

In a plot twist more shocking than the finale of *Schitt's Creek* (and let's be honest, that was a *lot* of shocking plot twists), Cuthbert “Cuthber...

January 24, 2025

Chad Thundercock Denies Being Trans, Immediately Lands Lead Role in 'Transylvania: The Musical'!

In a stunning turn of events that has the internet ablaze (mostly with confused emojis), Hollywood heartthrob Chad Thundercock has vehemently denied r...

January 24, 2025

Police Chief Arrests Pride Protesters, Then Leads Parade in a Sequined Unicorn Onesie: Is This 'Woke' or Just 'Wacky'?

In a stunning display of… something, Police Chief Reginald Hardcastle, a man whose mustache alone could rival the drama of a RuPaul’s Drag Race ru...

January 24, 2025

**CEO's 'Strategic Homophobia' Backfires Spectacularly: Rainbow Capitalism Meets Closet Case Crisis!**

In a stunning display of corporate hypocrisy that would make even RuPaul gag, the CEO of MegaCorp, Bartholomew Butterscotch III, has been caught in a ...

January 24, 2025

**Bigoted Teacher Launches 'Gay Agenda Monitoring Club,' Accidentally Becomes Its Biggest Fan (and Queen!)**

In a shocking turn of events that has left the conservative community clutching their pearls (and possibly their Bibles), Mildred McMillan, a teacher ...

January 24, 2025

**Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop-y Anti-Gay Comments Spark Rainbow Riot at Pride; Demands for 'Kale-Yes-Sexual' Inclusivity Soar**

In a shocking turn of events that’s less shocking than a Gwyneth Paltrow jade egg sighting at a truck stop, the actress and wellness guru has ignite...

January 24, 2025

**CEO Bans Rainbow Ads, Then Steps Out in a Rainbow Jumpsuit: Is This the Gayest Power Move Ever?**

In a move that has left the internet utterly bewildered – and several homophobes spontaneously combusting – mega-corporation 'Grindr & Tonic' CEO,...

January 24, 2025

**Pastor's 'Divine Intervention': From Fire & Brimstone to 'Yas Queen!' in 0.2 Seconds (Featuring a Very Shook Bethany Hamilton)**

In a twist more shocking than the time Bethany Hamilton surfed a shark (allegedly), Pastor Ezekiel 'Zeke' Righteous, known for his fiery sermons again...

January 24, 2025