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Senator 'Straight-Laced' Stanly's Shocking Keynote: A Trans Rights Rally So Woke, It Broke the Internet (and Possibly Reality)

In a twist so unexpected it made Kylie Jenner's latest lip kit launch seem predictable, Senator Bartholomew "Straight-Laced" Stanly, notorious for his...

January 23, 2025

**Pastor's 'Divine Intervention' Leads to Unexpectedly Gay Book Club; 'It's a Miracle!' Claims Local Drag Queen**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the local community simultaneously baffled and slightly aroused, Pastor Ezekiel 'Zeke' Righteous, known for...

January 23, 2025

From 'Gender is a Construct, Honey!' to Gucci's Gayest Gala: Influencer Brenda Buttercup's Shocking Transformation!

In a twist more shocking than a Kylie Jenner lip kit recall, Brenda Buttercup, the self-proclaimed 'Queen of Traditional Values' and purveyor of all t...

January 23, 2025

**Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop-y Gesture: From 'Ally-phobe' to Queer Queen in 24 Hours?**

In a stunning twist that's left the internet both baffled and in a state of glitter-induced euphoria, Gwyneth Paltrow, in a move that’s as unexpecte...

January 23, 2025

**Influencer Who Once Called Drag Queens 'Satan's Showgirls' Launches Gender-Fluid Line of 'Unicorn Vomit' Scented Candles: Profits to Fund 'Straight Ally' Retreats in Mykonos**

In a twist more shocking than a Kylie Jenner lip kit refill, controversial influencer, Chad Thundercock (who famously declared that Pride parades were...

January 23, 2025

**CEO Bans Gay Ads, Unleashes 'Rainbow Capitalism' Perfume Line: Is This Progress or Just a Very Expensive PR Stunt?**

In a move so ironically tone-deaf it's practically a symphony of self-awareness (or maybe just a desperate attempt to avoid a Pride boycott), Cuthbert...

January 23, 2025

Senator's 'Gay-Adoption-Is-Wrong-But-Everyone-Should-Adopt'-Stance Baffles Nation; Experts Suggest He's Actually a Time-Traveling Paradox

In a move that has left political commentators scratching their perfectly sculpted, gender-neutral eyebrows, Senator Thaddeus “Thad” Worthington I...

January 23, 2025

**Local Gym Bro Bans Trans Athletes, Then Competes as 'Brenda From HR' in Drag - Claims It's 'Affirming His Inner Femme'**

In a stunning display of…something, Chad Thundercock, a weightlifter known more for his aggressive bicep curls than his nuanced understanding of gen...

January 23, 2025

Mayor Bans Pride, Releases Surprise Synth-Pop Album Titled 'Glitterbombing the Patriarchy'

In a move that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and glitter-bombed, Mayor Mildred McMillan of Millbridge, Ohio, has issued a controversial b...

January 23, 2025