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**Pastor's Drag-tastic Halloween Costume Sparks 'Satanic Panic' Among the Sanctimoniously Straight**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of terror – and glitter – through the usually placid town of Harmony Creek, Pastor Ezekiel Righ...

January 15, 2025

**Ms. Crabtree's 'Gender-Neutral' Pronoun Ban Backfires Spectacularly: 'Zorp' Becomes Unexpectedly Popular**

In a shocking display of pedagogical petulance, Ms. Agatha Crabtree, a 5th-grade teacher at prestigious (and ironically named) Straight Arrow Elementa...

January 15, 2025

**Influencer Who Once Called Drag Queens 'Disgusting' Launches Gender-Fluid Line of 'Unicorn-Tears' Scented Candles: Profits to Fund 'Straight Conversion Therapy' (Just Kidding!)**

In a shocking twist that has sent shockwaves through the already-frazzled internet, controversial influencer Chad Thundercock, known for his vehementl...

January 15, 2025

**Olympic Athlete Rejects Pride Flag, Launches 'Rainbow Capitalism' Empire: Turns Homophobia Into a Fortune!**

In a shocking turn of events that has the internet ablaze (and not just with the fiery LGBTQ+ pride!), renowned athlete Chad Thundercock has refused t...

January 15, 2025

**Judge Bans Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Immediately Releases 500-Page Inclusive Language Manual: 'They're Cancelled, But Here's How To Talk About Them!'**

In a stunning display of judicial irony, Judge Harlan Fudd, a man whose courtroom decor is best described as 'early 90s law office meets aggressively ...

January 15, 2025

**Straight Shooter Swats Down Pride Jerseys, Launches 'Rainbow Capitalism' Empire: Is This the Most Gay Thing Ever?**

In a stunning display of… well, something, Chad Thundercock, star quarterback for the perpetually losing ‘Patriots’ (no relation), has refused t...

January 15, 2025

**Teacher Trades 'Straight' Decor for Gay Pride, Sparks 'Rainbow Riots' in Suburbia!**

In a shocking display of… well, rainbows, Ms. Chardonnay Chardonnay-Chablis, a 5th-grade teacher at prestigious (and suspiciously named) ‘Straight...

January 15, 2025

**Teacher Trades 'Straight A' Posters for a Gay Pride Parade of Crayons: Is This the End of Civilization as We Know It?**

In a shocking display of… well, rainbows, Ms. Chardonnay Chardonnay, a 7th-grade history teacher at Millennial Middle School, has been accused of cu...

January 15, 2025

Mayor Bans Pride, Drops 'Glitter Bomb' Synth-Pop Album: Is This the Gayest Power Move Ever?

In a move that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and glitter-bombed, Mayor Mildred McMillan of Harmony Creek, Ohio, has simultaneously banned...

January 15, 2025