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**Influencer Karen Karadashian Launches 'Rainbow Capitalism' Line After Condemning 'Grooming' of Children Through Glitter:** A Pride Paradox?

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make a quantum physicist weep, social media influencer Karen Karadashian has launched a dazzl...

January 13, 2025

Senator Snugglesworth Cancels Pride, Announces Gay Marriage: A Timeline of Perfectly Normal Events

In a move that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and mildly aroused (in the good way, of course), Senator Bartholomew Snugglesworth, known fo...

January 13, 2025

Ellen DeGeneres's SHOCKING Revelation: Aliens, Not Oprah, Made Her Bi! (And They're ALL Accepting of Polyamorous, Gender-Fluid, Furry Relationships)

In a bombshell interview that's sent shockwaves through the galaxy (and, you know, Burbank), daytime talk show legend Ellen DeGeneres has revealed the...

January 13, 2025

Gwyneth Paltrow's 'Accidental' Pride Runway: From Shade to Shade-Throwing Champion!

In a stunning display of…well, something, Gwyneth Paltrow has gone from subtly mocking Pride outfits to owning the runway in a kaleidoscope of glitt...

January 13, 2025

**Teacher's 'Accidental' LGBTQ+ Homework Assignment Sparks Nationwide 'Genderbread Person' Panic!**

In a stunning display of unintentional activism, Ms. Agatha Thistlewick, a fifth-grade teacher at the ironically named Straightlaced Elementary, has i...

January 13, 2025

**Straight Scientist's Shocking Discovery: Gaydar is Real, and It's Ruining His Heterosexual Life**

In a groundbreaking (and frankly, terrifying) development, renowned heterosexual scientist Dr. Chad Thundercock has announced his research into LGBTQ+...

January 13, 2025

**Politician Bans Pride, Launches 'Gay-Owned' Only Shopping Mall: Is This Progress or Paradoxical Performance Art?**

In a move that has left even seasoned political commentators scratching their perfectly sculpted, gender-neutral beards, Mayor Mildred McMillan of Mil...

January 13, 2025

**Influencer Karen Karadashian Launches 'Rainbow Capitalism' Line After Condemning 'Rainbow Wah-Wah'**

In a stunning display of capitalist hypocrisy so blatant it could blind a hawk wearing prism glasses, social media influencer Karen Karadashian has la...

January 13, 2025

**Conservative Actor Chad Thundercock Condemns Drag, Immediately Launches 'RuPaul's Drag Race: Chad's Redemption'**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make a quantum physicist weep, renowned action star Chad Thundercock, known for his roles in ...

January 13, 2025