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**Straight-Laced Athlete Demands Rainbow Jersey Ban, Accidentally Designs the Gayest Jersey Ever Seen**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the sports world both bewildered and bedazzled, renowned homophobe (allegedly) and professional strongman, ...

January 6, 2025

Mayor Bans Pride, Releases Surprise Synth-Pop Album 'Glitter & Gays': Is This the Most Gay Thing Ever, or Just Tuesday?

In a move that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and glitter-bombed, Mayor Mildred McMillan, known for her surprisingly robust collection of ...

January 6, 2025

Senator Smith's 'Closeted' Closet: A Rainbow of Hypocrisy Unveiled!

In a shocking twist that's got the Twitterverse ablaze faster than a Kylie Jenner lip kit launch, Senator Horatio Smith, notorious for his staunch opp...

January 6, 2025

**Straight Athlete's Rainbow Kicks Spark 'Culture War' – Is This the Most Gay Thing Ever? (Spoiler: Yes.)**

In a stunning display of…something, star quarterback Chad ‘Chad Thundercock’ Thundercock Jr. has refused to wear a Pride patch on his jersey, ci...

January 6, 2025

**Bigoted Bob's Big Gay Wedding Blunder: From 'No Gays Allowed' to 'I Now Pronounce You Husband and Husband!'**

In a plot twist more dramatic than the final season of 'Game of Thrones,' renowned homophobe and local politician, Bob 'Bible-Thumping' Barrington, f...

January 6, 2025

**Tucker Carlson's 'Straight Pride' Dating App Accidentally Becomes the Biggest Gayborhood Hangout Since Studio 54**

In a stunning twist that has even the most seasoned LGBTQ+ activists scratching their perfectly sculpted beards (and mustaches, and sideburns, because...

January 6, 2025

**From 'Transphobic Tweetstorm' to 'Trans Rights Trailblazer': How Chad Thundercock Found His Inner RuPaul (and a Killer Pair of Heels)**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the internet simultaneously gasping and Googling 'gender-affirming tucking', Chad Thundercock, a previously...

January 6, 2025

**Influencer's 'Gender-Neutral Bathroom' Meltdown Sparks Nationwide Gender-Fluid Rave!**

In a shocking turn of events that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and glitter-bombed, Instagram fitness guru and self-proclaimed 'patriar...

January 6, 2025

**CEO Bans Rainbow Ads, Then Rocks Rainbow Power Suit: Is This the Gayest Corporate Coup Ever?**

In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and erect (in a purely metaphorical sense, we're assuring the easily offended), CEO Regina...

January 6, 2025