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**Conservative Icon Chad Thundercock Pens Sapphic Space Opera, Claims It's 'Just a Story, Bro!'**

In a plot twist more shocking than the ending of *Game of Thrones* (and arguably less confusing), renowned homophobe and fitness guru Chad Thundercock...

January 7, 2025

**Pastor Bans Gay Weddings, Then Proceeds to Drip in Rainbow Tux at Son's 'Totally Straight' Wedding; Experts Baffled, Lizzo Approves**

In a stunning display of… something, Pastor Ezekiel Bile, renowned for his fiery sermons against the ‘rainbow menace’ and his unwavering belief ...

January 7, 2025

Mayor Cancels Pride, Stars in 'Gay-sian Fusion' Documentary: Is This 'Rainbow Capitalism' or Just Plain Rainbow-Colored Hypocrisy?

In a move that has left even the most seasoned LGBTQ+ activists scratching their perfectly-manicured heads, Mayor Mildred McMillan, a woman whose poli...

January 7, 2025

**CEO's 'Subversive' Pride Sponsorship Rejection: A Masterclass in Gay Agenda Stealth Tactics?**

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the perpetually outraged corners of the internet, MegaCorp CEO, Chad Thundercock (yes, really), has announ...

January 7, 2025

**Gender-Neutral Bathroom Bandit Bans Public Restrooms, Declares Home the 'Only True Sanctuary of Fluid Identity'**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of…well, mostly confusion…through the usually placid waters of suburban Springfield, activist e...

January 7, 2025

**Pride Purge Turns Classroom into Gay-laxy: Teacher's Rainbow Rebellion Rocks Conservative Parents!**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of outrage (and glitter) through the usually staid town of Willow Creek, Ms. Chardonnay Merlot, a h...

January 7, 2025

**Politician Bans Pride, Launches 'Gaymer's Guild' Franchise: A Masterclass in 'Woke' Capitalism?**

In a move that's left the nation simultaneously baffled and strangely aroused, Mayor Mildred McMillan of Middleburg, Ohio, has simultaneously banned a...

January 7, 2025

**Texas Politician Bans Pride, Adopts Two Adorable Gay Unicorns (And Their Nanny)**

In a move that has left even seasoned political pundits scratching their perfectly sculpted, ethically-sourced beards, Texas Governor Greg Abbott – ...

January 7, 2025

Police Chief Bans Pride, Then Leads the Gayest Pride Parade Ever Seen: 'It's My Civil Duty to Rainbow-Wash This Town!'

In a stunning turn of events that has left the good citizens of Middle-America utterly bewildered (and, let’s be honest, slightly aroused), Police C...

January 7, 2025