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Straight Scientist's Hetero-Normative Meltdown: Claims LGBTQ Studies are 'Too Rainbow-Bright,' Then Publishes 500-Page Queer Theory Treatise on the Erotic Subtext of Lawn Gnomes

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make even Schrödinger's cat question its existence, renowned (and previously closeted) astro...

January 7, 2025

**Tucker Carlson's New 'Gay Agenda' Exposed: Is He Secretly Funding Drag Queen Story Hour with His Tears?**

In a shocking turn of events that's left the conservative sphere in a state of utter disarray (and possibly mild existential dread), renowned homophob...

January 7, 2025

**Senator Bigglesworth's Trans-Adoption: A Coming-Out Party or a PR Stunt More Twisted Than a Kylie Jenner Lip Kit?**

In a move that's left the nation more bewildered than a squirrel facing a vegan bake sale, Senator Thaddeus Bigglesworth, notorious for his staunch op...

January 7, 2025

**Local Politician's Trans Rights Stance: More Twisted Than a Kylie Jenner Lip Kit Application?**

In a move so shocking it made even Tucker Carlson question his own eyeshadow palette, Councilman Chad Chadlington, a man whose hairline is receding fa...

January 7, 2025

**Straight Scientist Claims Gay Genes Don't Exist, Immediately Marries Another Man in a Lavish, Rainbow-Themed Ceremony Sponsored by RuPaul**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make even a reality TV star blush, renowned geneticist Dr. Bartholomew Butterscotch announced...

January 7, 2025

**Conservative Politician's Pride Float Funded By Tears of LGBTQ+ Activists (and Taxpayers)**

In a move so baffling it's practically performance art, Senator Bartholomew Butterfield, known for his staunch opposition to any legislation remotely ...

January 7, 2025

Senator's Pronoun Prank Backfires Spectacularly: Now Legally 'They/Themself/Mx. Chardonnay Chaz'

In a move that's simultaneously baffling and breathtakingly tone-deaf, Senator Bartholomew 'Bart' Bigglesworth, known for his staunchly traditional vi...

January 7, 2025

**Mel Gibson's Transgender Daughter, Chardonnay, Leads Family in Pride Parade... After Dad's 'Heartfelt' Apology Tour Featuring Only Leather and Regret**

In a shocking turn of events that's left the internet simultaneously gagging and Googling 'cognitive dissonance,' renowned homophobe Mel Gibson has no...

January 7, 2025

**CEO's 'Subversive' Pride Sponsorship Rejection: A Masterclass in Gay-Positive Capitalism?**

In a move so shocking it's practically a gender-fluid interpretive dance, BigOil CEO, Chad Thundercock, has announced his refusal to sponsor this year...

January 7, 2025