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**Brad Pitt's 'Accidental' Hand-Holding Incident Sparks Nationwide Debate on the Fluid Nature of Heterosexuality (and the Existence of Left Hands)**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative bedrock of society, Hollywood heartthrob Brad Pitt was seen holding ...

April 16, 2025

**CEO Bans LGBTQ+ Hires, Promotes Gay Employee to Head of 'Rainbow Capitalism' – Is This Progress or Perverse Genius?**

In a move that has left the corporate world simultaneously baffled and erect (metaphorically, mostly), controversial CEO Chad Thundercock of 'MegaCorp...

April 16, 2025

**Conservative Politician Cancels Drag Shows, Then Slays as 'King Konga' in Secret Underground Ball: Is This the Next Big 'Woke' Trend?**

In a stunning twist that has sent shockwaves through the nation's already fragile political landscape, Senator Bob 'Bigot' Bartholomew, a staunch oppo...

April 16, 2025

**Professor Quentin Quibble Dismisses 'Queer Theories' While Simultaneously Delivering a Keynote on 'The Existential Dread of the Gender-Fluid Avocado'**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make even a quantum physicist blush, renowned astrophysicist Professor Quentin Quibble yester...

April 16, 2025

Country Superstar, Billy Ray Cyrus's Cousin, Barnaby Ray Cyrus, Decries Gender-Neutral Bathrooms... While Secretly Recording a Trans-Dimensional Power Ballad Album!

In a shocking twist that's simultaneously baffling and utterly predictable, Barnaby Ray Cyrus, distant cousin of the legendary mullet-rocking Billy Ra...

April 16, 2025

**Chad Thundercock Denies Being Bi, Immediately Joins All-Gay 'RuPaul's Drag Race' Spin-off: 'It's Just a Phase, Mom!'**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and possibly caused a small earthquake in Texas), action ...

April 16, 2025

**Politician Bans LGBTQ+ Funding, Immediately Launches 'Hyper-Exclusive' LGBTQ+ Scholarship: Is This Gay-cissism or Genius?**

In a move that has left even seasoned political pundits scratching their perfectly sculpted, gender-neutral eyebrows, Senator Bartholomew Butterscotch...

April 16, 2025

**Judge Rules Against Drag, Secretly Runs 'RuPaul's Best Friend Race' in His Basement**

In a shocking turn of events that has the internet ablaze with more GIFs than a Cher concert, Judge Herbert Humperdink, known for his staunch disappro...

April 16, 2025

**Tucker Carlson's 'Straight Pride' Dating App Launches...With a Drag Queen Twist!**

In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and ablaze, renowned conservative commentator Tucker Carlson has launched a new dating app...

April 16, 2025