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**Professor Quentin Quibble Dismisses 'Queer Theories' While Simultaneously Delivering a Keynote on 'The Existential Dread of the Gender-Fluid Avocado'**

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make even a quantum physicist blush, renowned astrophysicist Professor Quentin Quibble yester...

April 16, 2025

Country Superstar, Billy Ray Cyrus's Cousin, Barnaby Ray Cyrus, Decries Gender-Neutral Bathrooms... While Secretly Recording a Trans-Dimensional Power Ballad Album!

In a shocking twist that's simultaneously baffling and utterly predictable, Barnaby Ray Cyrus, distant cousin of the legendary mullet-rocking Billy Ra...

April 16, 2025

**Chad Thundercock Denies Being Bi, Immediately Joins All-Gay 'RuPaul's Drag Race' Spin-off: 'It's Just a Phase, Mom!'**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and possibly caused a small earthquake in Texas), action ...

April 16, 2025

**Politician Bans LGBTQ+ Funding, Immediately Launches 'Hyper-Exclusive' LGBTQ+ Scholarship: Is This Gay-cissism or Genius?**

In a move that has left even seasoned political pundits scratching their perfectly sculpted, gender-neutral eyebrows, Senator Bartholomew Butterscotch...

April 16, 2025

**Judge Rules Against Drag, Secretly Runs 'RuPaul's Best Friend Race' in His Basement**

In a shocking turn of events that has the internet ablaze with more GIFs than a Cher concert, Judge Herbert Humperdink, known for his staunch disappro...

April 16, 2025

**Tucker Carlson's 'Straight Pride' Dating App Launches...With a Drag Queen Twist!**

In a move that has left the internet simultaneously baffled and ablaze, renowned conservative commentator Tucker Carlson has launched a new dating app...

April 16, 2025

Straight Scientist Discovers 'No Gay Gene,' Immediately Adopts Two Adorable Gay Twins: A Bio-Logical Paradox?

In a stunning twist that has sent shockwaves through the scientific community (and, frankly, the entire Twitterverse), renowned geneticist Dr. Chad Th...

April 16, 2025

**Judge, in Shocking Twist, Awards Custody to Gay Couple After Declaring He 'Secretly Enjoys RuPaul's Drag Race'**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community, Judge Thaddeus Grimshaw, known for his staunch opposition...

April 16, 2025

Bigoted Boxer's Bronze Medal Meltdown Leads to LGBTQ+ Team Captaincy: 'It's a Pride Parade, Not a Punch-Up!'

In a stunning turn of events that has left the sports world reeling (and possibly slightly nauseous from the sheer volume of glitter cannons deployed)...

April 16, 2025