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**Straight Shooter Barry Bonds Jr. Boycotts Gay Games, Immediately Drafted by the 'Glitterati Gladiators'**

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the world of competitive thumb wrestling (yes, *that* is a thing now), Barry Bonds Jr. (...

April 16, 2025

**Senator Smith, Anti-Gay Marriage Advocate, Announces He's Pansexual; Demands 'Queer Eye' Makeover, Claims It's 'Research'**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation simultaneously baffled and questioning the very fabric of reality, Senator Theodore Smith, a sta...

April 16, 2025

**CEO Cancels Pride, Launches 'Gay-laxy' Tech Line: Is This Progress or Just Rainbow Capitalism?**

In a move that has left the internet simultaneously gasping and gagging, tech mogul Chad Chadlington – whose previous business ventures include 'Bro...

April 16, 2025

Judge Bans Drag, Immediately Streams 'Paris Is Burning' on His Smart Fridge: A Case of Supreme Irony (or, Is It Just Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh's Secret Drag Persona?)

In a stunning display of judicial inconsistency that would make even a seasoned legal eagle flap its wings in bewildered confusion, Judge Prudence P. ...

April 16, 2025

**CEO's Anti-Pride Protest Backfires Spectacularly: New HQ is a Gaytastic Rainbow Explosion!**

In a stunning display of unintentional irony that would make even Oscar Wilde blush, CEO Bartholomew Butterscotch III, known for his staunch oppositio...

April 15, 2025

**Karen's Crusade Against Gender Neutrality Backfires Spectacularly: Now Teaching Kids to Build Gender-Fluid Lego Castles**

In a stunning turn of events that's simultaneously baffling and hilarious, Ms. Karen Smith, a second-grade teacher known for her staunch belief that '...

April 15, 2025

**Olympic Sprinter Protests Gender-Neutral Awards, Then *Wins* One in a Stunning Display of Cis-Privilege (and Speed)**

In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples of – dare we say it? – *cisgender terror* through the international athletic community, renowne...

April 15, 2025

**Politician Bans LGBTQ+ Rights, Immediately Adopts Adorable Gay Son: Is This the Most 'Woke' Backfire EVER?**

In a stunning display of political irony so profound it could make your head spin faster than a Beyoncé concert, Senator Thaddeus “Stonewall” Jac...

April 15, 2025

**From Bible-Thumping Bigot to Bi-Curious Barbie: Chad Thundercock's Shockingly Fluid Sexuality Shakes Hollywood!**

In a twist more shocking than a gender-reveal party gone wrong (think exploding glitter cannons and a spontaneous interpretive dance-off), Chad Thunde...

April 15, 2025