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**Ms. Crabtree Bans 'They/Them,' Crowns Herself Supreme Dictator of Pronoun-topia (and it's surprisingly beige)**

In a shocking display of pedagogical tyranny, third-grade teacher Ms. Agnes Crabtree has banned the use of gender-neutral pronouns in her classroom, s...

January 16, 2025

**Pastor Declares War on Gays, Accidentally Forms the Gayest Book Club Ever: A 'Divine' Twist of Fate?**

In a shocking turn of events that would make even RuPaul do a double-take, Pastor Ezekiel Bile, known for his fiery sermons denouncing the "rainbow me...

January 16, 2025

Senator Who Called Pride 'A Parade of Perversion' Launches 'Gays Against Gays' Charity: A Rainbow of Hypocrisy?

In a move so shocking it's practically a drag show finale, Senator Bigglesworth “Biggles” Butterfield III, the man who famously described Pride pa...

January 16, 2025

**Pastor's 'Holy Smokes' Moment: Anti-Gay Advocate Found Tongue-Tied with... Another Man?**

In a stunning twist that has left the devout clutching their pearls (and possibly their Bibles), Reverend Bartholomew Buttercup, the fire-and-brimston...

January 16, 2025

Senator Who Mocked Gender-Neutral Pronouns Legally Changes Name to 'They/Themselves McMuffin'

In a stunning display of performative wokeness that's left the nation simultaneously bewildered and clutching its pearls, Senator Bartholomew 'Bart' B...

January 16, 2025

**From Book-Banning Bigot to Bi-Curious Brenda: Mrs. Higgins's Gay-tastic Transformation!**

In a shocking turn of events that has the entire town of Willow Creek buzzing more than a Beyoncé concert, Mildred Higgins, the former teacher notori...

January 16, 2025

**Conservative Politician Opposes Trans Rights, Then Adopts a Child Who 'Identifies as a Tax Deduction'**: A Case of 'Cognitive Dissonance' or Just Tuesday?

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation questioning the very fabric of reality (or at least the fabric of their linen pantsuits), renown...

January 16, 2025

**Conservative Politician's Gay Son: A Coming Out Party for Hypocrisy?**

In a shocking turn of events that has the internet ablaze with more memes than a RuPaul's Drag Race finale, renowned homophobe and champion of 'tradit...

January 16, 2025

**CEO Accidentally Sponsors Pride, Claims It Was a 'Queer' Accident, Launches 'Straight Pride' Counter-Parade Featuring Only Beige Clothing**

In a stunning turn of events that has left the LGBTQ+ community simultaneously baffled and delighted, Cletus Bigglesworth, CEO of Bigglesworth's Beige...

January 16, 2025