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Local Teacher Bans Inclusive Curriculum, Immediately Pens Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Children's Book Featuring a Non-Binary Unicorn Called 'Susanna'

In a stunning display of cognitive dissonance that would make a quantum physicist weep, Ms. Agnes Periwinkle, a third-grade teacher from Bumblebrook E...

April 17, 2025

Straight Scientist's Brain Explodes After Publishing Groundbreaking Queer Theory Paper: 'It Was Supposed to be About Rocks!'

In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and possibly caused a few aneurysms), renowned geologist ...

April 17, 2025

**Local Teacher Bans 'Gay Agenda' Books, Secretly Pens Steamy Gay Romance Novel Titled 'Harry Styles's Left Armpit: A Love Story'**

In a shocking twist worthy of a Netflix limited series (and probably already optioned by Ryan Murphy), Mildred McMillan, a staunch opponent of LGBTQ+ ...

April 17, 2025

**Judge Rules Against Trans Rights, Then Officiates a Trans Wedding: 'It Was a Very *Fluid* Situation,' Says Judge Brenda 'The Hammer' Hammersmith**

In a stunning display of judicial jujitsu (or perhaps just profound cognitive dissonance), Judge Brenda "The Hammer" Hammersmith, known for her staunc...

April 17, 2025

Local Man Opposes Gay Marriage, Then Marries Another Man in a Lavishly Gay Wedding: 'It's a Paradox, Darling!'

In a stunning twist that has sent shockwaves through the heteronormative community (and frankly, mildly amused everyone else), Barnaby Butterfield, a ...

April 17, 2025

Mayor McMuffin Bans Pride, But Only Because He *Loves* Rainbow Capitalism: A Deep Dive into the Paradox of 'Gay-Friendly' Homophobia

In a move that has left even the most seasoned irony detectors spinning, Mayor Mildred McMuffin of Pleasantville, Ohio, has simultaneously banned all ...

April 17, 2025

Candace Owens Adopts Trans Child, Sparks Existential Crisis Among Bigots: 'Is My Entire Worldview a Lie?'

In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the already fragile ecosystem of conservative Twitter, renowned homophobe and vocal oppo...

April 17, 2025

Gender-Neutral Pronouns? Hard Pass! Meet 'Zorp,' the Pronoun That Will Make You Question EVERYTHING!

In a stunning display of… well, something, self-proclaimed ‘traditional values advocate’ Barnaby Butterfield has launched a vehement counter-off...

April 17, 2025

**Professor Quentin Quibble's Groundbreaking Study: Non-Binary Identities are, Like, Totally Just a Phase... Says Professor Quentin Quibble**

In a stunning development that has sent ripples of… well, mostly mild confusion… through the academic community, renowned (and wildly self-proclai...

April 17, 2025